Growing up, I really thought it was just me! Not until social media and those Petty Holiday Auntie memes did I understand I was not the only one who hated family get togethers.
The great thing about being an adult is you control yourself and your environment. I was born into a very dramatic family. They will be pissed off about this blog. Even the ones who don’t speak to me will read it and then talk about me. LOL. I had to learn that I am not responsible for the way other people feel. I am only responsible for my own feelings. I used to dread family get togethers and have anxiety attacks at the thought of being in my mother’s house with those negative people. I love them, but at the same time, can’t stand half the things that come out of their mouths, full of uncalled for judgement and disses. This was just not how I wanted to spend my day, that was supposed to be full of happiness. Once I realized no matter what I do, what I wear or how I wear my hair, no matter who my date was they were still going to have something negative to say. Finally, it clicked, “I CAN’T GET APPROVAL FROM SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T APPROVE OF THEMSELVES.”
I cannot control other people, but I can control how I choose to deal with them. I had to learn whatever I focused on controlled my energy. How I deal… I simply don’t go around them as often and when I feel I have to (like a holiday), I don’t stay as long.
You have control on the discernment of your energy. You do not have to play their game. You don’t have to get involved with the attack. Start saying no. It’s okay to say, “No, I don’t want to engage in this conversation.” It doesn’t make you a mean person. Enforce the boundary. Don’t get caught in their energy because then you will respond emotionally. Once they trigger your emotions, they got you. Now you are caught up in their game and they have your attention. Some people are so caught up on their own emotional roller coasters they are not aware that all people don’t live this way.
LEARN TO BREATHE, BABY. When you take time to breathe, it gives you a moment to look at the big picture. You don’t have to play petty because you were invited to.
The best thing I learned about petty people is to practice forgiveness. It doesn’t mean they are right! It doesn’t mean I agree with their messy ways. I simply set myself free.
They don’t need to know you forgive them. You do not have to explain it to them. When we truly understand misery loves company, it makes it easier for us not to become upset. People project hate because they feel hate. You can only project what you feel inside yourself. So, the next time your mean, evil auntie says something negative towards you, Baby don’t get upset… know she is talking about herself and NOT YOU!