When I lived in California, I had a strange relationship with going out in public. It was just weird. I honestly started to hate it and became a hermit. People think Hollywood is like Disneyland but fail to realize actors are just like Mickey Mouse without a big costume head. Below are 3 conversations that I had with people that flipped the script and turned me into the bad guy.
Fan: “How’s Hollywood?”
Me: Hollywood is built off a story from someone’s mind…. make believe like Disneyland. Fake tits, ass, lips. Fame is given and taken. It’s all entertainment. The ones not smart enough to realize all this shit’s fake seek a life that will never be real and kill themselves tryna live a life that doesn’t exist.
Fan: “I see you’re in a bad mood.”
Me: “Not at all….”
He walked away mad. LOL
Fan Guy 2: “Where’s Brandon?”
Me: “Dude, are you serious?”
Fan Guy 2: “Yeah!”
Me: “Dead. The show’s been off for 30 years, dude.”
We both just stood there looking at each other. I finally walked away thinking this can’t be my life. Lord, please NO MORE dumbasses today.
This next one happens often and it’s awkward. I hate it.
“What’s it like growing up on TV?”
Me: “I dunno? I don’t have any other life to compare it to.”
Then people get mad like my answer wasn’t good enough, so I have to ask, “Well, what’s it like NOT growing up on TV?”
This question brings more strange looks, like I’m supposed to know. Hahahaha. I’m not a mean person but I am a real person. I think the humanization of people who have been on TV is a real conversation more adults need to have with their children because there are some grown ass confused people in the world.
Like not to be mean, but when I’m asked, “Where’s Punky?” or “Where’s Waldo?” do they expect me to pull them outta my pocket? I don’t fucking know? But I’m a bitch if I say that so I say nothing and give them an awkward smile. Then, we can all feel weird together.
Yes, this is a “Fuck my life” moment. Hahaha. Whatever, maybe you will understand, maybe you won’t.