Since I was 20 years old, every single day of my life someone has given me a sob story as to why they need to borrow money! I used to become emotional to everyone’s situations and over gave. I looked up one day and realized I gave everything I had: energy, finances and love. I saved bare minimal for myself. All those I gave to never gave back nor returned the favor when I was in need.
I finally learned to say no without guilt! And it was just in time because of social media. Social media has amplified the amount of people who not only ask but expect you to give. People have this false sense of entitlement when they know someone from TV. Not only are they entitled to every element of your life, they are also entitled to help you spend your money whether they have met you before or not. Whether it’s for their 10 kids’ school clothes, their rent, attorney fees, gas money, a funeral fund or their wedding. It usually starts with, “I hate to ask this but….” My response in my head is, “Baby, I hate that I am listening.” Deep down, I want to help everyone! For my sanity I have learned I have to help myself. Guard my peace, my finances and my well-being or I am no good for those depending on me.
No comes easy now, I’ve had some practice.
I keep my answers short. NO doesn’t need explanation.
I do NOT second guess myself.
I refuse to let them talk me into something I’m not comfortable doing. People will go on and on as to why you should give them your money.
In my head, I learned to separate refusal from rejection. Sometimes the first no feels sad but I’m not afraid to say it twice. Often, I find my peace in the second yes. Doesn’t mean I don’t sympathize with their situation, it means I am at peace with my choice because it is best for me.
I learned to stay true to myself.
I will not offer my money but what I can afford is prayer. I pray their situation will change and they find abundance of whatever their life is lacking.