Yes, I am a grown ass man and admit being a King and never a prince has caused me issues in my adult life. See my father left my mother with 4 children to take care of. By the grace of God, entertainment has my back so I was blessed with good jobs that support my family. Meaning my mother and siblings. I became my mother’s King instead of her son.
It was my house we lived in instead of hers. It was my choice what we ate for dinner…because of these allowances from my mother, she in return became my Queen.
At the age of 15, I met a beautiful girl who I fell in love with. She was perfect in every innocent way possible. This had nothing to do with dating or sex but in my mind I had long term plans for her. She was indeed going to be my wife one day when we were both ready. Only problem my mother despised that idea. Which at the time baffled me. This young lady was also in the entertainment business, she was beautiful inside and out and extremely hard working. How my mother could find fault or flaws within her made no sense.
I always wanted to be my mother’s hero so I sat my feelings aside. I am now 45 years old and never pursued that young girl the way I wish I would have because of my mother. Truth be told I am 4 babies mommas in now, single again and never have been in love again. I have traveled, dated and done all I could to find that feeling I had as a teenager. Long story short that perfect, flawless, love of my life hates my mother because of her antics (understandably so my mother was very rude to her for no reason) and has moved on. She is now married with a family.
I admit to living a self destructive lifestyle. It started as a teenager as a way of rebellion. Which continued as an adult due to my issues with substance abuse. (I am working on it.) The relationship with my mother is strained. I was her cash cow which left me pretty penniless and struggling. I struggle to support my own children because my Queen’s children (my siblings) were well taken care of by me. Please don’t get it twisted, I’m thankful I was able to do for my family but because of it, I am NOT able to do the same for my children. Which gets me labeled as a deadbeat Dad by circumstance because the “Assumption” of all entertainers is We are Rich!
I am writing this as a grown man to single mothers trying to raise boys. Please don’t make your son your King! Kings need examples, Queens. It’s okay to allow young men to be a Prince. They need time to learn and grow as a male before they are forced into manhood. No son should bare the responsibility of a grown Queen. I am not just blaming my mother, my father was a coward and dead wrong for allowing me to bare his responsibility. Cherie is my homegirl and I understand this is advice for my sistas so please don’t feel attacked.
Had my Momma allowed me to date that young girl, my whole life could be different. We could have been an amazing force together. She is still beautiful inside and out and working as hard as ever. She’s remained successful without me. She is what I needed. Sure it may not have worked, but I would have learned that on my own if my mother would have allowed it. I needed to learn that on my own. Now I live with “what if’s” and NO healthy female relationships including the relationship with my mom!
I see a cycle Queens, I am not the only King….