IT’S 4 A.M. AND I’M AWAKE CUTTING UP FLASHCARDS!

It’s 4 a.m. and I’m awake cutting up flashcards! Preparing for 3rd grade, homeschool is about to take on a whole new form and I am ready for it. This year will be more fun, I’m convincing myself. This year I will be a better teacher, now that I got the hang of it. This year I am going to prepare and get all of the paperwork done earlier. I will lay a foundation that will not be broken because NOW I know exactly what needs to be done. Hahaahahah

Truth is my daughter will come in, take the reins and guide her own education and let me know everything she needs. While prep is good, I have also learned to be flexible. Just because Tuesday went exactly as I planned, Wednesday was totally off course but on that beautiful Wednesday, we had fun and we both learned a lot!

Children are resilient and flourish in their own environment! With their own tribe, on their own time. Life is a lot different for them when they can receive a hug after a ruff assignment. They also can feel when those around them lead with love! So, as you’re planning your homeschool year, remember to schedule in the love!

Good luck, parents. It’s a dirty job but we are the best ones to do it!

DON’T BE THAT PERSON

There is always that person who throws your mistakes up in your face. The moment you are doing well, and life is going great they will do all they can to steal a moment of joy from your day! We all know or are even related to that 1 person.

“Ohhh, Johnny looks just like his Daddy!” (Knowing you and Johnny’s Daddy do not get along.)

“I saw such and such the other day.” (Knowing you and such and such fell out.)

“Oh, you bought a car? Hope you don’t crash it like you did the last one.”

“How long is this little girlfriend gonna last?” (Not knowing the last one cheated on you.)

Don’t be that person that lives in everyone’s PAST! When you’re busy living in your OWN future, other people’s past won’t even be your memories. Bringing up hurtful things to others is a direct reflection on yourself! Not that person you think you’re being coltish with. It’s very telling of your spirit and where you are in your own life. You hurt! Don’t be that hurt person who goes out of their way to hurt people. Heal yourself and lead with love. You will be a lot happier!

And for those of you who read this and names of people in your life popped in your head, LET THEM GO! As you are tryna live better, do better, be better, often you have to let the people you love GO! They can’t go with you where you deserve to be. A river never goes in reverse! Live like a river, PERIOD!

ROOKIE SOCCER MOM

Okay so, it’s been officially 33 years since I have been on the soccer field. My daughter started asking me a year ago if could she play soccer. I was honestly hoping that she would forget! In between swimming and Taekwondo, I just didn’t feel like she had time. Call me a bad mom but I just wasn’t sitting on a hot field during the summer with all that heat and sun for a sport I am not sure she will love or stick too. Fall is here and she is 5 so the you’re too young excuse doesn’t work anymore. Fall Ball, here we come!

She’s got her shorts, cleats, her shin guards, her socks, sunblock, 2 soccer balls and a pump. I have my hat, my chair, my cooler, sunblock, water bottles and Gatorades.

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED?

I spoke to my sister in law, Vanessa, who is a pro soccer mom now. Her advice to me was healthy snacks, in case my name is called to be snack mom. No sugary stuff or candy, no Capri Suns. Check, I got that. I texted my sister in law, Vickie, who just laughed at me. LOL, I think she thought I was over thinking or joking. But I would like to hear from you “Soccer Parents”? I like to be prepared so what else do I need to know and have on me? PLEASE, HELP A SISTA OUT?

NOBODY SAYS CAUCASIAN AMERICAN!

Don’t call me African American.

In the 70’s, we were Blacks

in the 50’s, we were Negros

Before that, we were coloreds.

You do not get to call me what the fuck you want to every 20 years to duck political loopholes. LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR, I WILL NOT CHECK THE BOX!

When my daughter was born, they didn’t even bother to ask her race they simply put on her paperwork what they saw. Same thing they did with the Natives back in the day. Mark them as Negro or Mulato or Mullato, depending on who wrote it. It had many different spellings on my families’ paperwork. Then, don’t have to pay them reparations. I think it’s really sick that “the powers that be” can change people’s identities to what they would like it to be anytime it benefits them. My people are from North Carolina dating back to the 1700’s.  Guess the fuck what, I am MORE AMERICAN than those fuckers who want to change my people’s identity! They associate with their identities and where their people migrated from. Then they try to feed us this shit that everyone here was from somewhere else. A lot of people can’t find their family history because they are looking for African Roots when in fact, their roots started RIGHT HERE!

Immigration has always been a beautiful thing, as long as your skin is white. For our Brown immigrants from the beginning of time, it’s been nothing but hell. We have the power to change this and the boxes they want us to check if we start thinking, speaking up and voting. Give America the hell they been giving us for years. This time through contracts, lawsuits and paperwork. Hit them in their pockets. MONEY is all they respect!

RED BELT!

Just like that right before her fifth birthday, she’s a red belt. For those of you who are not familiar with Taekwondo, my young daughter is two belts away from getting her little champions black belt, which is a big deal!

This journey is super amazing to witness. During her last testing was the first time I wasn’t nervous for her. I was excited! I watched her create her own journey. You know, just a couple years ago she asked me if she could she take Taekwondo and I really thought it was gonna be a phase but it’s her thing. It takes people years to figure out what they’re good at, find their purpose and their interest. For her to be so young and already know herself, I am so grateful. I only have one choice and that’s to foster what she loves. She’s determined to get the black belt before she turns 6, and I know she will. Right now, that belt is her goal. I hope she sticks with it because she’s already counting on having her second belt by the age of 12! Lol, wish me luck. She just convinced me to sign her up for soccer, which starts next month. So, on top of Taekwondo and swimming Ima bout to be a soccer mom! (She gets it from her cousins) I didn’t see this one coming when I gave myself the soccer mom hair cut a couple of years ago, LOL!

Hey soccer moms, Rookie Mom coming. Can I please get some tips?

PROOF SISTAS: MEN ARE STILL ROMANTIC, YOU JUST HAVE TO SEE IT

A beautiful gift written for me from a man I will anonymously call “LOVE”
She’s Music 🎶
She’s your mental soliloquy.
Your daily symphony.
She’s on repeat the whole day long.
She’s the melody that rides the groove.
Her kisses reminding you of love being sure and smooth.
She rocks you with zeal until your long gone.
She’s the hip-hop to your trap.
Her body finely wrapped in measured colors only God, Himself can do yet so true.
She’s your gospel and your song.
She’s the love you need to right your wrongs.
That is just what she do.
Kiss 😚 her lips 👄 4 times consistently.
Find her truth in the purest of intimacies.
So she knows you played her heart’s ♥️ serenade.
Bring peace with your mental jazz.
Make sure to play her mind,body and soul with truth and fact.
So she can taste your love’s lemonade.
Be aware of every note.
Listen to her speak from her inner dope.
Become addicted to her MUSIC. 🎶
She’s Music 🎶

 

ADVICE FOR PARENTS OF YOUNG ATHLETES

UPDATE: 7/29/2019, 11:11 PM EST – To contact B2G Sports, reach out via Instagram: @official_b2gsports

I was sitting down talking to one of my lifelong friends, Ron Allen who trains student athletes and I thought about you, my readers and how a lot of you are raising young athletes yourself. Below are a few tips he shared with me.

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  1. Go to every game if you can, even if their team sucks.
  2. Stay relentlessly positive with your child when it comes to their sport and teach them to do the same.
  3. Let the coach do their job. They have to worry about every player on the team.
  4. Encourage your child to compete with themselves so they can be the best version of who they are.
  5. Allow your child to choose the sport he/she loves but encourage them to try multiple sports.
  6. To be a winner, athletes have to want it more than who’s coaching them and who’s raising them. Keep them in successful environments and surrounded by peers who are driven and pray it rubs off.
  7. Exercise patience and focus on the long game with your child when it comes to their development.
  8. Unless they ask you, wait a day or two before you tell your child what they did wrong after a loss or a bad game. Their emotions are already fragile enough.
  9. Most kids don’t have the drive their parents expect of them. Be ok with that if yours doesn’t. There are so many other areas where we as parents pressure are kids to be better. Let them have sports on their own speed.
  10. As soon as possible, seek out professional trainers or camps to work with your child instead of yourself. This will allow you to maintain a healthy parent / kid relationship.

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“Developing All-Americans Since 2000!”

B2G Sports is an authentic football training resource designed to dramatically improve game performance in pressure situations. Best known for providing athletes with top competition and practical football skills, B2G is contracted directly by a number of BCS universities to scout college prospects.

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REFLECTING ON A FACEBOOK MEMORY

My goal this week is to be a better me than I was last week! My understanding of self has elevated to another level. The more I distance myself from distraction the more I personally prosper spiritually and financially. At the end of the day no matter how anyone else feels as long as I am a good person and kind to everyone me meeting my goals and my loved one’s health is all that matters. I’m doing something I haven’t done in years…I sleep well at night now because I have learned how to let other people’s problems be just that OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS. My captain save a hoe cape is officially retired

364 days after I wrote this post, I birthed my 1st daughter. I was transitioning internally! It’s okay to change. It’s okay for life as you knew it to change. Transition can be a beautiful thing if u allow yourself to see beautiful in it. Confirmation that I am right where I need to be.

I DON’T LOAN PEOPLE MONEY…PERIOD!

What my 20s and 30s taught me was that loaning money was a huge mistake. I expected people to think as I did. I believed every sob story and excuse and overextended myself to people because I cared! When it was time to pay me back, those same people never cared about me.

Now my answer is simply “No.” With NO explanation behind it! (Thank you, Jacelyn, you taught me the power of No and to stop feeling bad.) I have this lifelong friend whose name is Jacelyn and she is fiery! Afro-Latina with a heart of gold and the mouth of a sword! I love her to pieces. One day she said, “Fuck them C.J. Think about it, they don’t give a fuck about you and if you needed some shit from them, would they do it for you?” Those words have rung in my ears for years. I don’t think she even understands that was a major turning point for me and some of the best advice I have ever been given because she was soooo right! I had a large amount of people around, family included, as long as I was useful to them in some way. Once I was NO longer an asset or useful, I stopped hearing from them completely, even cut off….but Jacelyn saw what I didn’t and we still rocking what she taught me.

Don’t go into details about your finances, and don’t make long excuses justifying your decision.  It’s really none of their business. Just be direct and keep it simple. If you feel the need to be extra sympathetic and nice. Try the following:

  • “I’m not really in a position to lend you money.”
  • “I really don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
  • “I’m sorry, but no.”
  • “That’s really not feasible for me.”

These are direct statements that aren’t rude, but don’t provide an opening for future requests down the line.  When asked to expand, simply repeat one of the phrases.  Remember: It’s your money.

SALES EXCITE ME

Have you ever gone to the store and bought some shit just because it was on sale? I admit it, I have issues. Sales excite me, buy one get one free excites me even more. I’m not ashamed to say I don’t even care what it is. If it’s buy one get one free, I’m probably gonna buy it. If it’s not something that I can use, I don’t care. I have a family or friend who can use it.  I once bought matching hammers because they were buy one get one free. I handed it to my older brother and he just looked at me and laughed. When he called me back two weeks later and said he thought that hammer worked great, it sounds silly but it brought me joy. When I was a child, Kmart was my favorite store in the world and that’s because they had buy one get one free. Don’t forget to get excited about the little things in life because when you look back memories are all we have so I always make the best ones even if it’s just shopping a sale!