BEFORE YOU ASK HER WHY SHE’S SINGLE…

Today my brothers, I am talking to you. Try considering the pool of men who approach her. Now, I truly believe in the course of nature. Dogs chase cats… cats don’t chase dogs. For my religious folks, “He who finds a wife, finds a… you get where I’m going.

Unfortunately, beautiful women are getting the short end of the stick because men are not holding themselves to the standard which they are well aware that they should behaving themselves. 

Why? 

They don’t have to!? 

Well, that’s changing because women are no longer accepting or putting up with the mediocrity. Just doing enough to get by NO LONGER FLIES! 

Men wonder why women are to the point where “we don’t need a man or want a man”

Chronic disappointment, sir… Chronic disappointments make anyone shut down and not want to even allow themselves to be in the position to even feel anymore.

While there are some good men out here being overlooked, it’s because of the idiot that approached before you! She doesn’t even want to deal with what may come after hello. 

Good men, you want things to change? Check other men. Fix their crowns; it is okay! They’re out here swearing they wanna be Kings, acting like peasants! 

My momma always said, “Don’t be a fool and write nothing down you don’t want coming back…” King Kev, not only did I correct you but now Ima use you as an example. Since you’re a King and a Leader, other men can now see the reflection of their failures by yours being put on display! 

Men, we are tired! We are tired of the disrespect, the lies, the playing the fool and the being fooled with! Thank you to those who show us UPFRONT the intentions and the disrespect before hello because then we have a choice and know exactly what will come next. So Ima give him a chance to see his wrong doings a few more times before I BLOCK HIM and everyone like him that comes after him.

I was raised by a Village of Kings who made sure I know my worth. I know what pure love feels like from a Black Man, so don’t bother me with all the impurities…

STOP ASKING BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WHY THEY ARE SINGLE, WHEN YOU HAVE 20/20 VISION!

This is why
Black women
are single!

CAN YOU SEE THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES WHEN THEY LOOK AT YOU?

It’s that feeling you get that makes you have butterflies and feel all warm and tingly. That look of love. “Your eyes are the windows to your soul,” Darius McCrary told me when I was 13 years old and I’ve never forgotten it. Mostly because of the look he gave me when he said it. It was that look of love! The look that made me feel special and like I was the only one in the room with him, even though we were in a crowded room full of people.


Eye contact is a transfer of energy! You can tell how someone feels about you, just by looking at them. It’s hard for the eyes to lie. You can often look into a person’s eyes and sense their character.


When someone loves you, looking into their eyes is a revelation again and again that they care for you. One of the sweetest moments I’ve shared with my man was in silence, simply sitting on the couch across from one another. I was reading and I caught him just staring at me for no reason, with a smile on his face. I looked up and smiled. I appreciate being admired by him. I appreciate being loved. 


The look on his face when we leave each other… even though we always say, “I love you” because the words are important… there is really no need for the words, it’s felt in the look.

2021: WOMEN INITIATE DIVORCE 70% OF THE TIME

You go, girl! While I am not advocating divorce in any way, I am proud my sistas are NO longer accepting bad behavior from men! We partied on the way into the marriage, let’s party on the way out of it! 

Let’s be real: when a woman finally calls it quits in any relationship, it’s already been over for quite a while. Women often stay longer than they should! (I’ve been so guilty of that.) Women give men warning after warning, and in so many ways beg for change, before ever being heard. 

Most men aren’t ready to even deal with the issue, until they realize it’s too far gone.

Men are able to ignore the issue and, in many ways, escape the home by diverting their attention elsewhere. Drowning out the chaos and moving on with their day.

While women are able to attack the problems head on and get to the root of the issue before they blow up to the point of no return.

I feel it coming, men are ready to argue me down about how my opinions are wrong. Be mad, Bruh… the numbers Don’t Lie! 

Men, if you want to keep your wife, you need to keep the same behavior that helped you get her.

STOP FORCING CHILDREN TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE FAMILY MEMBERS!

All love shouldn’t be unconditional! Your mental health should be more important than anything else. When you teach children to have relationships with family members that are emotionally abusive, what are you teaching them is their feelings do not matter. They are to love that person, no matter how they were treated. Someone else’s opinions and words are more important than their feelings.

This is why so many adults find themselves in abusive relationships in adulthood. They spent their whole life being told they couldn’t stop loving the very people that hurt them, simply because they are family.

We always wonder how a woman can be abused and stay. 

Why does that mean because I’m his wife, even if he beats me, I should stay?

Adolescents who experienced emotional abuse as children are more likely to be diagnosed with at least one mental illness, such as depression or anxiety, which can carry over into adulthood. Unfortunately, people with a history of emotional abuse are also at an increased risk of attempting suicide.

As parents it is our job to Protect, Profess and Prove! Protection comes along with protection from toxic family members, providing them with an environment that is heathy and will aid them to grow up with healthy self-esteem. 

www.TheRealCherie.com

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORE A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET?

Today, I received the cutest gift from one of our friends who watches Punky! She made me the most adorable bracelets, not only for me, but also for my daughter. They’re colorful and they fit perfectly. They’re comfortable and they’re made with soft beads. She even put my name on them, and she put Cherie power! My daughter’s says Girl Power, one has a gummy bear and the other a heart and a rainbow! They came beautifully packaged. The most amazing thing is there were made by a young girl named Simone! 

Friendship Bracelets

I am all for entrepreneurship at an early age. These bracelets are a perfect addition for a birthday present, Christmas stocking or even Easter eggs. So, if you wanna support young people and also give beautiful gifts to the girls and the women that you love, please keep Simone in mind. 

I love the positivity reminder on my wrist and the way it makes me smile when I look down at them. Most of the time, it’s really the little things that can brighten your day. And these bracelets do it for me.

Check out her Instagram page

https://instagram.com/simoneviviennemar?igshid=ylqg4196kh8a

www.TherealCherie.com

WATER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR BODY!

Water is the true fountain of youth! Most overweight people are overweight simply because they are not drinking enough water! Most people with skin issues have it because they are not drinking enough water!

After having my daughter, my doctor asked me if I wanted to drop my baby weight fast. “Of course,” I told him! Then, he told me to drink 16 ounces of water on an empty stomach. It will help the body flush out toxins and alkalize my body. Layman’s terms: it’s gonna make you shit. According to Ayurvedic medicine, drinking water right after waking up has pretty amazing health advantages. It cleanses the kidneys and expels accumulated toxins, enhances the metabolism, improves the oxygen flow and supports the health of the lymphatic system.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night thirsty?

At night, your body repairs itself and removes toxins. This is why some people sweat more at night than others. Your body is casting away all the bad stuff. So, it’s your body’s way of begging you for proper hydration, so your cells can do their jobs. Most likely, you didn’t drink enough water during the day.

Did you know if you don’t drink enough water it can alter your mood as well? Dehydration causes confusion, anxiety and fatigue.

THE BLACK REALITY

Having a casual conversation about a family road trip hurt my heart. My man and I were talking about all the things we want to do after Covid and one of them was to go back to Disneyworld. Then, driving from Disneyworld to Atlanta, Georgia and we/he decided it was probably just safer to fly. Not because of car accidents because we didn’t want to deal with the trauma of the police.

Me: I’d rather leave early in the morning, babe. I don’t wanna be on the road late at night. It just makes me nervous to be on that back road with Rhythm in the car.

My Man: Yeah, I understand, and it makes it worse to have me in the car with you.

This is when my heart sank to my feet! The White reality is having a man with you is supposed to bring a sense of safety and more security to your family! For a Black family who simply wants to take vacation and go to Disneyworld, it’s a risk factor! Here is where my attitude kicked in.

Me: “Fuck Disneyworld and Fuck Georgia, we have been to both of them before. I don’t even wanna go.”

My Man: “Naw babe, don’t get like that. We can just fly to Georgia after, so it won’t be a problem.”

He’s so sweet and calm and such a peacemaker. Meanwhile, we can just go to Disneyland call it a day and save all the travel money all together. I’m now mad as hell and pissed off and hurt. Hurt for him because he can’t bring comfort to his family by being in the car. My White friends, please read this again! This right here is NOT okay! 

People wonder why Black women seem to have an attitude problem. We harbor so much hurt and disappointment, not just for ourselves, but the ones we love most. The men in our lives who simply want to live but are in constant fear. Our children who aren’t even aware of the dangers ahead every time they leave the house simply because of the color of their skin!  You would walk around looking pissed off too if the Black experience was your damn reality every time you left the house. 

www.therealCherie.com

LOOKING FOR A CUTE OUTFIT FAST

In the middle of doing a Virtual Press Run for our Punky Brewster continuation, I still have a life. I needed a cute outfit quickly where I didn’t have to change my clothes before my interviews today. Then, I remembered this really cute sweatsuit sent to me from Suddenly Forty! It was perfect!! I put it on, and it was comfortable and soft and appropriate for my whole entire day!

I hate rushing, so I always keep a couple of go to outfits right in front of my closet. Because I am one of those people, if I have to search for it, I don’t wear it. I like to grab and go! 

My day was looking like this:

10:50am Rhythm’s Dentist Appointment

11:30am Post Office (gotta mail Cucumbers are Delicious)

11:45am Gas Station

12:00pm Make Lunch

 2:00pm Phone interview

 3:00pm Cook Dinner

4pm-8pm Record Cherie’s World Podcast

8:30pm Rhythm’s Bedtime

45 is a weird age. I still look and feel young but let’s be real, some things are just no longer age appropriate. But I am not tryna look like a grandma either. Thank you Suddenly Forty for keeping it cute! You will get to check it out on the podcast!

You can check out more of their cuteness at www.suddenlyfortyllc.com

Suddenly Forty

APPLYING PRESSURE DOESN’T MAKE A MAN DO WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO!

I feel so bad watching women who apply pressure to men so they can “ACT” the way a woman wants them to. Acting doesn’t last long. This is a tactic that is truly unrealistic and doesn’t work. Hate to break it to you ladies but if he aint spending as much time with you as you would like, it’s because he doesn’t want to. So sure, you can throw the ultimatums in his face about what he better do and you can threaten to leave but it’s just a temporary fix.

Your best bet is to release the pressure, then you will see what he really desires. This is one of those hard truth times but in the end, it removes the stress from him and you. It also stops you from getting high blood pressure! Self-preservation girl…

If that man is happy at home, he will have no problems being there. If that man is running, the foundation of the relationship is broken and your threats aint gonna fix it. Here’s the real hard truth: it aint gonna be fixed unless HE wants it fixed. You cannot make another person “ACT” the way you want them to. The right one for you, once you voice the concerns to him, will not just apologize but correct the behavior as he sees fit.

Here is another hard truth. You have to stop looking for someone else to bring you happiness. Codependency for your emotional happiness is setting yourself up to be miserable. Nobody is responsible for your happiness but you!

I know a lot of you are screaming at me now about how I am not a man… I don’t know what I’m talking about. No, I’m not a man but I have a Dad, 8 brothers, a man and all male friends. I get to hear what you and your homegirls don’t hear. I have always been that 1 girl in the middle of 10 dudes. I’m invited to the strip clubs and the bachelor parties. While ya’ll having girl days, I’m with my homeboys listening to them talk about ya’ll.

TODAY I FORGIVE MYSELF!

I forgive myself for not knowing better until I knew better! Being happy is a very personal thing that really has nothing to do with anyone else. I was guilty of giving away my power and allowing miserable people to pull me into their funk. 

Energy transfers: I am guilty of being an empath.  I know this, so I should know better. So, I have learned how to protect my energy with my life. I now have no problem not answering the phone when I’m afraid my energy might shift to a place I don’t want to be. I have no problem explaining to people why I choose to love them from a distance. 

I forgive myself for all the times I gave people the discounted rate of my services and they now expect it forever. Basically, I forgive myself for not knowing my worth. I forgive myself for selling myself cheap when I knew I deserved more.

I forgive myself for lowering my standards and going on those dates I didn’t want to go on and wasting my time with people I knew I didn’t see in my future.

I always was frustrated hearing people say the Christian thing to do is forgive. I get it… I really needed to forgive myself because nobody coulda let me down without me allowing it. So, today I forgive myself! I learned my lessons and I will move on!

I hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself too…