THINGS WHITE PEOPLE DO THAT WE DON’T THINK ABOUT!

O.k. why is it that when kids graduate from junior high school, we (Black people) reward them with a shiny new stereo instead of something that has to do with what he accomplished? Something that might make their future brighter. I grew up in a place called Westlake Village, the suburbs of Los Angeles, California. I definitely noticed a big difference in the way I was raised, and the way my fellow classmates were raised. See, I was one of the only African American children in my school. At most, there were 5 African Americans at my school at one time, but it only lasted a year. I have always been very observant, so I noticed that my friends were getting bank accounts, stocks in their father’s company, mutual funds and bonds, even inheritance. I also remember saying to myself, “That sucks all they got was a piece of paper.” If my mom had handed me a piece of paper saying when I turned 18, I would have a certain amount of money I would have been pissed. I would not have understood that she was doing me a favor, because that was not the way I was taught. But now I realize what those other people were doing is investing in their children’s future. As an adult I understand, because no one had anything to invest in my future and because my mother did what she was taught. Needless to say, I did not grow up rich. By the way, just for the record I’m still playing that stereo!! So, thanks mom I can’t complain.

It is very important to teach your children healthy money habits. This is a lesson that should start at least by the second half of elementary school. Don’t just hand them money, see, easy come, easy go. If they earn it, and they are taught they have to work for money. Not only are you teaching them an important life lesson of responsibility but you are also teaching them how to appreciate what they get, and the harder they work the bigger the reward. I understand parents want to give their children what they never had, but when you hand them things too easily, they don’t learn the value. Take them to the bank. Teach them how to withdraw money and make deposits. Also, how to put money away in a savings account, and to invest. Help them to put a percentage of their money in a savings every month, then twice a year invest 50 dollars. Teach them to read their bank statements and watch their money grow. Believe it or not, get them interested in their money and they will value what they have more and what you do for them more. It is important to understand the value of money.

CHILDREN ARE SO SMART UNTIL WE DUMB THEM DOWN!

I was in the bathroom with my daughter changing her earrings and cleaning the holes in her ears. I was taking her rubies out and putting her diamonds in.

“Mommy, what are diamonds?” my daughter asked.

“Stones, baby,” I answered.

“What are rubies, Mommy?” she asked. I could see her thinking.

“They are stones baby,” I said.

“I have stones in my room, Mommy,” she said sweetly.

“Yes, you do baby,” I said.

“They lied to us, Mommy,” she said.

I giggled and said, “Who’s they baby?”

“Those men, who took over our land,” she said seriously.

“They are precious stones, baby,” I said.

She left the bathroom and came back with one of her rocks that she had in her room.

“Mom, look?” she said, oh so seriously.

I looked up and she handed me a rock.

“I’m an archaeologist mom. Stones aren’t precious. I get it now,” she said seriously.

“What do you get baby?” I was hesitant to ask.

“They tricked us, they lied and called them precious. Diamonds come from Africa, right, but so many black people are poor, and they stole the diamonds from them,” she explained.

My 4-year-old just told me precious stones are a sham. LMFAO. She is 100% right. I wasn’t going to be a fool and try to convince her any differently. I took the time to explain to her material things in the big picture hold no value. Not clothes, shoes, cars or homes. True value should be placed in yourself and the people you love. Material is all replaceable, but real family isn’t. I also explained to her family isn’t just the people with the same blood as you, family are the people who don’t turn their backs on you when you need them most. You can lose your house, a building doesn’t make a home, A home is made by the people who live inside it with you. You can lose your jewelry, your clothes but you can’t lose your self-worth! The only true thing you own in this world is your joy! Never let anyone steal your joy!

She gave me a big hug. I really hope she remembers this conversation when she grows up. She really has taught me so much about life and love…I was raised around some really unhappy, materialistic people. It made me think. I thought about the people I know who grew up with the bare minimum, they were full of life, happiness and love. Walk in a wealthy person’s house, you might be offered a bottle of water. Walk in a not so wealthy person’s house you are offered food till your tummy burst and a place to rest your head if needed. Makes you wonder what true wealth really is.

They tricked us, don’t allow them to trick your children!

PAPER IS REALLY ALL MONEY IS…

When you understand that money is just paper, you can think about it differently: either the absence of it or the abundance. Now if I said, “Can you go out and get 5,000 sheets of paper?” that doesn’t sound like such a challenge, right? If I say, “Can you go out and get $5,000.00?” your thought process shouldn’t have changed, it’s just paper. Just like you started thinking of all the ways you could collect 5000 sheets of paper; is the same way you need to think about “What do I need to do to earn $5,000.00?” It’s really that simple.

There is no reason to give money the power to control your emotions. Money shouldn’t have enough power to dictate whether you have a good day or not. Happiness is a choice. It is an emotion that you control. Just like you control whether you put money on a pedestal or not. From what I have learned is that everything and everyone you put on a pedestal one day will fall off and disappoint you. Money is simply paper it should not determine your mental health, your inner peace, or your self-worth.

If money is a worry in your life…spend your time focusing on the solution, not the problem! If all you think about is your debt, you will stay in debt. Switch your focus and spend time thinking about the solution! Think about your prosperity and growing wealth for your family and you will be surprised how all of a sudden, your paper flow has changed. Your debt is paid off and you are now saving. You are in control of your life, not a piece of paper. Put money in your hands where it belongs and keep it out of your heart!

MY GUILTY PLEASURE HAS BECOME COMPARING CURRICULUM!

I was the kid who hated school but loved education! Those two things were misunderstood by my authority figures growing up. I wasn’t able to articulate it, and nobody listened enough to try and read between the lines and understand. I loved to learn and research but hated the instruction I was given, and the guidance was misleading. The techniques were outdated, and the misinformation was sickening.

I was being taught so many lies. Sitting in a room full of peers who were all white watching them soak up the fact that the only history my people had in this country was slavery was disturbing! It was a lie and every time I spoke on it, I got in trouble. My grandmother armed me with the truth at a very early age. So being taught lies, misconceptions and stereotypes didn’t fly for me.

I was not a child who needed repetition: it bored me to DEATH, it turned me off and made me shut down! I felt stagnate and like I was stuck from progressing. (I see the same thing in my child.) I know the technique works well for many, but the truth is EDUCATION IS NOT 1 SIZE FITS ALL! Many teachers fail to care, and do not listen. They teach what they know and what worked for them.

The idea of alternative education hit me through a conversation with my lifelong friend, Andrea. (Hi baby, thanks for always reading my blogs.) Andrea is young, hip, innovative and is also a teacher. She taught me I don’t have to do exactly what everyone else is doing as long as I follow the FRAMEWORKS. Researching frameworks was the start of my daughter’s homeschool journey. I found that there is no solid curriculum I love through and through. I tend to mix and match a lot! Andrea has become my guidance counselor on this homeschool journey.

We are halfway through 2nd grade and I am already starting to look at 3rd grade curriculum! There are some things that we are doing now that I will need to change up for next year because they simply aren’t working. School should be fun and interesting not a drag or a fight.

I won’t let her start 3rd grade until 2020. I feel it’s moving too fast since she’s only 4, so I am just going to add on unit studies about things that interest her when the fall hits. My daughter has become amazing in guiding her own education. I am still looking for a great math curriculum that will keep her interest. While she is very ahead of her time, she still loves colorful pages and artwork on her work sheets. (That’s the key to keeping her engaged at this moment.) I’m flirting with the possibility of using “MasterBooks” 3rd grade. Right now, we use their social studies “My Story 2” and I am in love with it, because it seems to be her favorite workbook. She also enjoyed “My Story 1”. They take the children all over the globe. It’s a mixture of Social Studies, Culture, Languages, and Vocabulary all in one. Their history programs at first glance don’t seem to be a turn off either but haven’t tried them yet. Until she is of school age, which is like 6 or 7 years old, I am only going to teach her Black History so by the time she learns what’s required, it won’t be a play on her self-esteem. Right now, we are using “Blessed Heritage Our Story-History” and we like it a lot, mixed in with her “Urban Intellectuals Black History flash cards” and “ABC ME Flashcards”. I love Abeka’s health curriculum, it seems to be my favorite Abeka pick for now, but I still mix in their health with an anatomy book because my daughter loves the human body. She also likes to watch My 600 Pound Life, breast implants and butt implants. (I may have a plastic surgeon on my hands.) Her YouTube time is spent on plastic surgery, but she says she would never do that to herself which I love! I am also on the hunt for a new language arts curriculum, it would be nice for my daughter to see her own likeness in some of her required English work. So, if you know any language arts curriculum with little brown girls in their stories and on worksheets, please share it’s worth a look.

If you are a homeschool parent with a child who has gone through 3rd grade, I would love to know your curriculum picks. It takes a village please share with me.

Also, if you interested in the Urban Intellectuals Black History flash cards, here is my affiliate link: https://store.urbanintellectuals.com/aff/CherieJ75/

SO, I’M AN INTROVERT. I’M NOT BORED OR SAD. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!

Yes, I am happiest alone and tend to shy away from people as much as I can.  As I grow older, I realize it’s because I am somewhat of an empath. Energy transfers and a lot of y’all have fucked up energy! Even many that I love have horrible energy and I have no desire to feel it. Even when you’re not complaining, the fact that you’re not happy in life weighs heavy on a empath’s heart.

I used 2 be the type who helped everyone and was somewhat of a fixer. If I could fix your issues, your self-esteem or help you pay your bills, I would but that shit is emotionally and financially draining. I’m over it and have divorced that part of my former self. In result, I also divorced many friendships willingly.

Now, I enjoy my peace. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you…but if you can’t share my space often, it might mean your energy just drains me. Have you ever gotten off the phone with someone and you all of a sudden were physically tired and depressed, but right before the call you were happy and energetic? I don’t mean a call that delivered bad news or a death but a regular call from the homie? That means energy transferred now you are carrying their vibe with you, until you shake it off or transfer it back to someone else. I hate that feeling. I no longer wish to take on other people’s emotions. By myself, I’m chill with no drama. Except my drama of motherhood but that’s my entertainment!

I have friends who think they are being sweet, but they get on my nerves tryna force me to be positioned in social situations. I try to explain it to them, but they don’t get it. I don’t need more friends, I don’t want nobody else calling my phone, I aint tryna hang out. I’m tryna chill at Chuck E Cheese, not a bar, a social gathering, or anywhere with these grown folks. I could be doing something with my kid! I’ve spent my entire life being social. I literally want to spend some time being left alone. I don’t see why that’s so hard to understand.

My whole point in writing this was to say preserve your mental health by guarding the energy you allow to share your personal space.

KIDS DON’T EAT EVERYDAY!

Today was one of those days my kid didn’t feel like eating. I’ve noticed during her growth spurts one week she won’t touch food, then the next she’s eating everything she can find all day. Instead of stressing out and tryna convince her she needs to eat, I pick my battles and I simply make her Fairy Juice. Lol, yes I tell her it will make her fly, lol! Since she tries to fly anyway! The lil white lie gets her to drink every drop! Everything in it is 100% natural and healthy so if she doesn’t eat anything else for a while, I don’t worry!
Blueberries
Blackberries
Raspberries
Strawberries
Handful of Spinach
1/2 teaspoon of turmeric
Coconut water and Ice!
Vooolaaaaa, we have Fairy Juice! Also, a really happy momma! In between sips, I convince her to drink up so she can fly away! Works like a charm, so get your little Fairies or Superheroes flying.
Good luck parents!

THE BEGINNING (WHAT HAPPENED WHEN A GOAT BULLIED ME)

In 1975, the Steelers won the Super Bowl 16-6 beating the Minnesota Vikings and Arthur Ashe won Wimbledon. Microsoft became a registered trademark of the Microsoft Corp. The Vietnam War ended, and a loaf of bread was $0.33. The unemployment rate was 5.6% and I was born that November.

I always knew I was different.  You see, in 1977 my mother and I got an official police escort out of the Pittsburgh Zoo. My mom thought it would be fun to take me to the petting zoo. I thought it smelled gross and there was a pesky goat that kept nipping at my shoestrings and that annoyed me to no end. I have always had a shoe fetish and didn’t appreciate that dirty little goat messing up my brand new, fresh blue suede Adidas. First, I yelled at it to stop then pushed it off of me. When the goat persisted in eating my shoelace for lunch, I did what l was taught to do, protect me and mine. I pulled my fist back as far as I could and gave it to the goat right in the dome piece. That’s right! I hit that goat as hard as I could right in the face. When I looked down, I was so upset that my shoelace was all tattered and unraveled that I felt like the goat needed to learn a lesson. I guess I went a little overboard because before I knew it, I was being picked up and kicked out. How embarrassing for my mother. I wasn’t the slightest bit embarrassed. In fact, I was ready to leave because the hot dogs were nasty, it smelled bad, and the popcorn was cold. Also, I had another funny story to go home and tell my brother, Mark and my granddaddy. I skipped all the way out of the zoo while I reassured my mother that we really didn’t want to be at that stinky place anyway. She just laughed while 6 men followed behind us like we needed them to show us where the exit gate was.

Now that I am older, it’s hysterical looking back and realizing that my first real fight was with a goat. Who does that? But that fight was my foundation and stands for so much more than just a tussle over my shoestrings. Fighting is all I know. I have no problem fighting when my personal space is disrespected. I have no problem fighting for things I want. Don’t get wrong, I am not a bully nor do I cause any problems. But if you get in my way, you better watch yourself because we’ve got problems.  Fortunately, you won’t have to watch your back because I will let you know to your face that you are about to get punched in the nose! I believe in giving a warning before I cause destruction. SMH. Sorry, Momma I was hell on wheels, and you are right, I am getting it all back though my daughter! LOL.

WAKE UP, AMERICA

The abortion ban is not about controlling women. The destruction of Planned Parenthood is masked racism at its finest. It’s about controlling the population and the fact that Whites are not replenishing themselves fast enough for them to stay in power. Let me explain this again for the people who didn’t understand the first time. 60% of all abortions are done by White women! This abortion band isn’t about controlling women or because they care about the fetus it’s about White America isn’t replenishing themselves at a rapid enough rate. By the year 2045 Whites will no longer be the majority in this country unless their birth rate goes up. This isn’t a conspiracy theory; these are all facts: do your research. White men are terrified to be a minority. This is racism at its finest.

It’s no different than the gates that they want to put up on our southern boarders. Why no gates around the northern boarders?

It’s disheartening for me to read on social media all these Black men who are for this ban. They really need to wake up and unite and if they don’t believe in abortion make sure they knock up a White woman….

If you don’t believe me read, “The Birth Dearth” by Ben Wattenberg who associated with the leading politicians in 1960-70’s and was a conservative and once considered a President adviser.

Pro Choice is Pro Life! Nobody on this earth should have control of what another person does with their bodies.

I’m afraid for all these unwanted children. There are 400,000 children in the foster care system. 2.5 million children are homeless today! That is 1 in every 30 children in the United States who have no home and insufficient meals. If people were really worried about life, common sense would say fix this problem before allowing more children to suffer. But there’s no money in feeding and sheltering the homeless or giving free health care and birth control to everyone. When you really care about life, that’s what you do!

WAKE UP, AMERICA!

CHERRY SEASON

Cherry season has arrived: they are among the first fruit trees to ripen. The abundance of vitamins in cherries makes it a wonder fruit. Eating cherries is not only good for your skin but is equally beneficial for the health of your hair as well as your digestive system. The vitamins present in cherries are capable of providing nourishment to the hair. Here’s how the different vitamins present in cherries help in maintaining healthy hair.

Vitamin A: 

It regulates the production of an essential acid called retinoic acid which is important for hair follicles and helps keep hair and scalp hydrated.

Vitamin B:

Vitamin B helps improve blood circulation in the body, including the scalp, which results in regeneration of the existing cells and triggers hair growth.

Vitamin C:

Vitamin C is very essential for hair. It helps in strengthening hair follicles and prevents breakage from the roots. It also nourishes the hair and prevents split ends and hair loss by stimulating the growth of new hair follicles.

Vitamin E:

This vitamin helps with proper blood circulation to maintain immunity and helps prevent any hair damage. It also maintains appropriate moisture in the hair and scalp.

DEATH BY TINY TOYS

Death by Tiny Toys: that’s the headline I hear in my head at least once a week in my house. How many times do I have to scream, “Pick up your toys?” Last night I rolled over and a Littlest Pet Shop was in my ribs. I just damn near died from these Cutie Cars being left in the middle of the kitchen floor. I was tryna be the good mom and make homemade pizza bagels, baking sheet in my hand, pulling the fresh baked bread out of the oven. I turned around to take my oven mitts off and sat them on the counter. Next thing I know, I step on something little and hard and the damn thing has wheels! After my ass road it 5 feet, I hit the floor! As I lay on the floor, I look over… my daughters face is beet red, her eyes were wide, and she had her hand over her mouth. I know she wanted to laugh but was 2 scared. At this point I was tired and pissed! I didn’t even have the strength to yell. I looked at her and said in almost a whisper tone, “Pick your toys up off the floor.” She jumped up really fast and said, “Yes, Ma’am”, and off she went running with her Cutie Cars in her hand, into her room. Her little feet pit pattered like she was running some kind of race. I heard her mumble, “I am in big trouble.” At that moment I realized getting off the floor at 43 years old wasn’t as easy as it used to be.

Who invented these tiny little toys, they hurt when you step on them? I know whoever sits in an office and thinks these things up they don’t have children of their own. If they did, they would realize it’s one thing to fall over a big toy it’s a whole other thing to step on some little shit that pierces your feet!

I can’t be the only parent out there who doesn’t love these tiny toys, right?