EVERYONE DOESN’T AGREE WITH MY CHOICE TO HOMESCHOOL & I’M OKAY WITH THAT!

Everyone doesn’t agree with my choice to homeschool and I am okay with that. I am not in a place in my life where I have to please anyone except my child.  As long as I do right by her, that’s all that matters. She is 4 years old and extremely above average. She always has been according to her pediatrician. (It’s not just a mother’s love.) She is reading at a 2nd – 3rd grade level, doing fractions, bar graphs and 3 digit adding and subtracting. The kid can tell time, count money and speak Spanish. So, I don’t feel right putting her in preschool so she can “socialize” is the right choice for her. In fact, I feel it is an injustice. Her learning will not grow in a school environment. She will be stuck in a class with a group of children saying their ABC’s. FOR WHAT TO SOCIALIZE?  Socialize is the most common thing people love to bring up, as if she is a hermit with no friends, who I don’t allow out of the house. The kid has a slew of cousins, she takes Tae Kwon Do 4 days a week and has a much better social calendar than I ever have with weekends full of play dates and birthday parties.

I understand some adults live for the weekend and their time to socialize with friends. I hate to break it to you but that’s only the working class. The employees who spend their lives making other people’s dreams come true. No offense, but I am tryna raise a C.E.O, a boss, doctor, entrepreneur or an astronaut. I want my little person to live a life that is all her design, full of possibilities and opportunity. I want her to know you can live every day of the week, not just on the weekend.

Let’s face it… it doesn’t take 8 hours in school to complete the work they assign. Most of it is fluff. I cannot send her to school where she will read the words, SLAVE AND WETBACK in her school books but NOWHERE will she read the KLAN or KKK or the fact that white people were her oppressors! I am just not comfortable with the idea of her never understanding the true history of this country until she goes off to college and takes an awakening African American Studies class that turns her head around like it did for so many of us. I will teach her who she is before the world tries to tell her who they want her to be. 

I cannot leave her education in the hands of people who look at her as a number or a check instead of a person!

If your child is average and you are okay with sending them to school to learn the same bullshit you were fed, that’s okay with me. I am not going to try to talk you out of it. If school was great for you, I pray it’s great for them. Me…myself I wasn’t challenged! School didn’t teach me shit but to read a chapter and answer the 6 questions at the end of the chapter. It taught me that even my own teachers were racist, and I was just someone they had to put up with. My saving grace was my tutor Mrs. Ruthann-Crudup Brown. That 5’2” beautiful chocolate tyrant stayed on my ass and went above and beyond what the California school system had set out for me. I’m going to let you go now because I am starting to ramble. I BASICALLY WROTE ALL THIS TO SAY EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENT AND THAT’S OKAY.  STOP TRYNA PUT PEOPLE IN A BOX BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LIVE THE COOKIE CUTTER LIFE. It simply doesn’t work for everyone.

HOUSTON, I AM TRYNA COME BACK!

82% of people want to write a book but don’t know where to start! Do you feel you have a book in you? Have you been secretly harboring the dream of writing it down one day? Why wait?

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Are you ready to increase your income and your influence? My team and I are here to help. @inspirebrandconsulting + Tobi Brown are kicking-off a one-day intensive live workshop this summer. First Stop: #Houston.

Go to https://mystorymytimeworkshop.com and sign up for updates. Early Bird registration will open soon. Spaces are limited.

 

I DON’T MIND MAKING YOUR PLATE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU IN MY KITCHEN!

Let me keep it real. I see all these debates on the internet and laugh. “Who eats first your man or your child?” In my house children eat before anyone, PERIOD. If you have a problem with it, IDGAF because you are not invited over anyway.

“Where do I season my chicken?” The same place I wash it…yes, I wash off my chicken in the sink. (From reading the comments, I learned a lot of people don’t wash off their food, period.) So, IDGAF if you have an issue with that because you aren’t invited to my house anyway!

Bagged salad keeps giving people salmonella. Forgive me for laughing but again there are people who do not wash it. Pour it out the bag into the strainer with a lil vinegar and water and you will be okay. If you don’t wash your bagged lettuce, NO BIGGIE TO ME BECAUSE I AINT COMING TO YOUR HOUSE TO EAT IT!

I am saying all this because it amazes me how we are so tied up emotionally about what other people are doing in their houses. We spend time on this when we could be productive instead of having senseless debates nobody is capitalizing on. WTF are we doing wasting time on social media all day, people? I post once or twice a day that’s it…I can’t take ya’ll serious or give you too much of my time.

Going back to, “I don’t mind making you a plate because I don’t want you in my kitchen,” is a broad statement. I will give the public what I want them to have then I close the door and my life is mine. Everyone doesn’t deserve free range, folks. In 2020, save a little of yourself for yourself and see how much more energetic you are…

CHEER FOR THE CHILDREN, NOT JUST YOUR OWN

My daughter and I hug and kiss and say, “I love you” all day long to each other. She even says it in her sleep because I have been whispering it to her in her sleep since birth. I want her conscious and subconscious mind to always know without a shadow of a doubt that she is loved daily unconditionally.

Not only do I teach her that I am proud of her, I teach her the importance of being proud of herself, which if you ask me is priceless!

Children seek the approval of their loved ones and want to please those who have their hearts. I remember being young and how good it felt to hear my mom say, “Good job” or “I am proud of you.” I watch my daughter turn around in Tae Kwon Do and give me thumbs up during class when she does something well. She’s supposed to be focusing but she is still looking to see if I am watching and if I approve.

I am that loud, cheering mother who sits in the front with no shame. I also cheer for the other children and tell them, “Great job,” as well. I am sure some of the other parents think I’m nuts, but I am okay with that. Everyone gets encouraged, it’s the thing to do. 4 days a week, all the children in her class hear from me how great they did.

I didn’t realize a large number of children are never shown affection. Not only do their parents not show up, they don’t cheer for their little champions. Next time you are at one of your children games, meets or school, please cheer for the child who is excelling but not hearing the cheering echo. Your cheer, approval and encouragement may be the only one they receive that day.

LEARN THE BUSINESS OF ACTING

Taking an acting class is great but you also need to learn the Business of Acting, if you seriously want to make it!

  1. Learn to use a sign in sheet and take a good picture
  2. Learn the statistics of an actor
  3. Fill out a size card properly and audition etiquette
  4. Learn categories: leading man/ woman, supporting, day player, etc.
  5. Putting together a resume / bio
  6. The difference between doing TV, Daytime, Film, Commercials, Voiceover, and stage
  7. What to expect on that audition: 1st call, call backs, network
  8. 8.  The crew and their jobs
  9. Set terminology
  10. How to become signatory and the fees
  11. 11Your pay rate and what contract your job falls under, Residuals, Foreign Royalties.
  12. 12.  How to read your contracts
  13. Your course to staying employed
  14. How to be remembered or quickly forgotten by casting directors, and producers
  15. Insider tricks on how to market yourself on a budget

 

If you don’t know these things, your career will only go so far. Lucky for you, I teach these things via the internet. Check out my course the Business of Acting.

HOW IS LOW SELF-ESTEEM EXPRESSED?

Low self-esteem is expressed through the need to constantly impress others by seeking their approval. When negative feedback is repeatedly offered to a child with low self-esteem, he begins to believe the negative evaluations as truth about his abilities and self-worth. These negative evaluations then become direct reflections of the child’s belief that they are incapable, unsuccessful, and unworthy. There are two common low self-esteem responses: 1) to feel reserved, incompetent and worthless; 2) to feel angry and desire to get even with others. Individuals who feel down generally feel unsuccessful and overwhelmed by the tasks of life. They are shy, tend to remain where they feel safe, and try to find ways of escaping unpleasant realities or situations. Angry responses to having low self-esteem include constantly finding fault with the world, being negative about everything, and taking things out on others. Since their behavior generally reflects their self-image, their misbehavior is derived from their negative self-concept; a child who believes he is bad portrays his behaviors to fit his self-view. The more he misbehaves and the more anger, punishment, or rejection he receives, the more his belief is reinforced that he is a bad child. How children express self- esteem difficulties depends upon their personal experiences and varies among individuals. Some children express more emotional or behavioral difficulties while at school, whereas others may express them at home.

The following profile illustrates a child who has low self-esteem: 

Sue is a seventh grader who is an average student. Her teacher refers to her as “reserved and quiet.” She has minimal friendships, completes half of her homework assignments, and perceives herself as being less competent academically when compared to her peers. She becomes frustrated and gives up easily on tasks that she feels she will never master. She constantly seeks the approval of other adults, but then focuses on and emphasizes any negative feedback she receives. She interprets her parent’s and teacher’s frustrations as indicating she is a “bad” child, which reinforces her core belief that she is a bad child. Her negative view of self influences her outlook on life and keeps her from developing new interests and attempting new tasks.

Intervention options

Individual Therapy – Usually once per week – ideal for identifying and addressing negative core beliefs of individuals. Very helpful for children who wish to speak with someone outside the immediate family. Cognitive therapy is very beneficial for children with low self-esteem and depression. Specifically seek out a therapist who specializes in children or adolescents.

Family Counseling – Usually once per week – good for addressing family issues and examining family roles, structure, and values.

Group Therapy – Usually once per week for 60-90 minutes. Good for education about self-esteem, its origins, and for social interaction with others who share similar beliefs about themselves. Check with the child’s school psychologist for available related groups.

Parent Workshops – Usually offered at various times and places. Check with school resources, therapist referrals, psychiatric hospitals, local support groups, local college or university childhood education departments, or community organizations.

Potential Resources

  • Behavioral health professionals (including psychologists, social workers, counselors, and psychiatrists)
  • School psychologists, counselors, and teachers
  • Your family doctor or pediatrician
  • Your minister, rabbi, bishop, or priest
  • Parent support groups
  • Your health insurance company (look for ‘behavioral health services’ or ‘mental/nervous services’ listed in your health benefits booklet)
  • Community information referral services
  • Self-Esteem Enhancers For Parents
  • Value Your Child Unconditionally

Accepting a child regardless of their strengths and weaknesses is pertinent for expressing unconditional love to them. This must also be reinforced by the amount of quality time (focused attention) spent with a child each day. Although it is not feasible for a parent to designate all of their attention to a child, it is necessary to spend at least 20 minutes of quality time three to four times per week. Throughout the week parents can continuously express their interest and attention by offering hugs and smiles.

7 IMPORTANT THINGS TO TEACH CHILDREN ABOUT MONEY

1.Teach them to respect money!

If parents treat money with respect, watchful eyes will learn. What ever happened to “Find a penny pick it up all day long you will have good luck?”  I watch children walk by pennies or drop them on the ground. They need to understand that one cent can’t set the foundation and it can’t grow into whatever they make it.

2.Teach the difference between needs and wants.

It’s ok to say, “No, you don’t get that sweater this week because you need a pair of shoes. Teach some things are expensive and need to be saved up for. Don’t just hand them everything they want; it won’t help them appreciate the things they receive in the long run. Also, let them make money decisions at an early age.

3.Help encourage them to save their money instead of spending it.

4.Make sure your child understands the connection early between hard work and a paycheck.

Don’t just give them allowance, instead have them do chores to get that allowance. If they want money or even extra money, it’s ok to make them earn it. No handouts. Teach them early how the world works, that way they will grow up with the concept of real life and they will be able to survive on their own. Write children checks to encourage them to leave their money in the bank. Giving out cash makes it easy to spend.

5.Teach children about credit and how important it is.

Some children’s toys now come with “play” credit cards. Explain to them it’s not just free money.

6.Encourage them to get a small job when they are age appropriate.

7.Teach your child about investments and how to make their money grow.

No better teacher than experience. Teach them the difference between being a shareholder or just a customer.

In the long run, you will be doing your child an extreme favor by teaching them healthy money habits. Money management is one of the biggest struggles in the world with the reason being growing up money is not a thing discussed with children. It’s so important to teach money management, needs vs. wants, saving vs. spending. Smart money management teaches children how to set lifetime goals.

MAJOR WAYS YOU ARE BLOCKING YOUR BLESSINGS

Don’t ever be afraid to say what you want. There is power in the tongue and what you put into this universe; you get back. Don’t downplay the importance of things in your life. Your subconscious will start to believe you do not need it so you will block it from coming into your life.

You have to believe you are worthy! Your intellectual ability is enough. Wherever you are in your life. Whether you went to college or not. Your passion is enough. Your desires are valid. You deserve success at whatever it is you desire. Now you have to claim it, speak it and believe it! The only difference between you and the person who is doing what you what to do is they worked 24/7 and believed in themselves, even when others did not! No’s aren’t final to successful people; they simply mean not right now.

Your mind holds onto energy!  Have you have been around people who have programmed you to second guess yourself and make you feel you don’t deserve your desires? You have to let go of all those things that have been said to you by others. You do not have to adopt their belief system. If you were told you are anything but great, let all those thoughts go! They no longer have to be your thoughts.

Try it and stop blocking your blessings today. You are amazingly powerful and can attract anything you want out of life.

LET ME TALK TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTAS FOR A MINUTE!

You can NOT push a man or force him to be vulnerable with you. It is just not going to happen. Men choose who they are willing to be open with, just as they choose a wife. All you can do is create a safe nonjudgmental place, so if he does choose to share with you, he won’t feel it will be taken as a sign of weakness. If he doesn’t choose to share, Sis, you aint the one! (Just being honest.)

Brothas, please don’t be fake vulnerable just to get sex. (That’s when we treat you like a sucka, we feel that shit.) That’s the weakest, most disrespectful shit in the world. When men are vulnerable, they allow their partners into their lives. Their partner feels closer to them, which then leads to improvement in every aspect of the relationship.

Vulnerable men teach women something about themselves that allows women to understand them, and why they are together romantically better.  If you are looking for a truly compassionate and an intimate partner, let her into your emotional life. You will be surprised once you do how much more attracted to you she will be. Women run off emotion while men run off rationale so let me make it plain for you men. Stop making it all about sex and make it about her emotions and it will lead you to having more sex! If I didn’t explain that rationally enough, I can’t help you. LOL.

SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN WITH NEGOTIATION SKILLS

School was not my thing. Kindergarten was a total drag. I didn’t understand why I had to sit in class for hours while people learned their ABCs and to count.  It all seemed like a major waste of my time. At 6 years old, I thought I had better things to do. My teacher got on my nerves. I remember this one time she wanted me to color Christopher Columbus and I refused. I thought it was stupid to spend all day talking about a man who supposedly discovered unknown land. You can’t discover anyplace where there were already people there. I chose to spend my coloring time with my head on my desk. My Grandma taught me about Native Americans, and how they were the first people here. I wasn’t about to participate in a celebration that honored the man who instigated the genocide of the indigenous peoples of North America. I got a chance to explain my view to the class and my teacher. Instead of my teacher respectfully challenging my views, all she said was, “Just color it,” in a stern tone.

I remember thinking to myself, “Talking to me like that is no way to get what you want from me.” I shut down completely. I pushed the paper to the side of my desk and put my head down. I wasn’t disruptive or rude, but I was frustrated and angry that she was teaching 16 young minds distorted facts. I mean, I had to be in that place 5 hours a day. And for what, to learn the wrong stuff?  At that moment, I didn’t care how my teacher felt, and I doubt she cared how I felt. I knew I wasn’t going to color because I didn’t want to. But I was even more peeved that she sent me home with a note.

I locked myself in the bathroom while my mother read the note. I was too scared to come out. She spoke to me through the door for a while until I felt comfortable enough to come out. When I got out, she sat me down at the kitchen table and asked me again if I wanted to color the paper the teacher sent home or get a bad grade. I told her, “Mommy, I just can’t do it. I don’t believe in it.” She said “Well, you’re never supposed to do anything you don’t believe in.” She kissed me on my head and got up out of her chair, while she was pushing it in, I said, “Mommy, I don’t want to do the Pledge of Allegiance.” “What’s wrong with the Pledge of Allegiance, Cherie?” she asked. “It’s just lame, Mommy. We are not one nation under God. If we were, people wouldn’t kill people and hurt children. I believe in God, Mom, but everyone doesn’t.” She just looked and me then finally said, “No, Cherie you do not have to say it, but you have to stand up with the rest of the class, ok.” “Ok, Mommy but I’m not putting my hand over my heart either.” “Fine, Cherie,” she said as she walked away to make dinner. I felt like I won! That is the earliest memory I have of negotiating.

Maybe some things are in your genes….