2021: WOMEN INITIATE DIVORCE 70% OF THE TIME

You go, girl! While I am not advocating divorce in any way, I am proud my sistas are NO longer accepting bad behavior from men! We partied on the way into the marriage, let’s party on the way out of it! 

Let’s be real: when a woman finally calls it quits in any relationship, it’s already been over for quite a while. Women often stay longer than they should! (I’ve been so guilty of that.) Women give men warning after warning, and in so many ways beg for change, before ever being heard. 

Most men aren’t ready to even deal with the issue, until they realize it’s too far gone.

Men are able to ignore the issue and, in many ways, escape the home by diverting their attention elsewhere. Drowning out the chaos and moving on with their day.

While women are able to attack the problems head on and get to the root of the issue before they blow up to the point of no return.

I feel it coming, men are ready to argue me down about how my opinions are wrong. Be mad, Bruh… the numbers Don’t Lie! 

Men, if you want to keep your wife, you need to keep the same behavior that helped you get her.

APPLYING PRESSURE DOESN’T MAKE A MAN DO WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO!

I feel so bad watching women who apply pressure to men so they can “ACT” the way a woman wants them to. Acting doesn’t last long. This is a tactic that is truly unrealistic and doesn’t work. Hate to break it to you ladies but if he aint spending as much time with you as you would like, it’s because he doesn’t want to. So sure, you can throw the ultimatums in his face about what he better do and you can threaten to leave but it’s just a temporary fix.

Your best bet is to release the pressure, then you will see what he really desires. This is one of those hard truth times but in the end, it removes the stress from him and you. It also stops you from getting high blood pressure! Self-preservation girl…

If that man is happy at home, he will have no problems being there. If that man is running, the foundation of the relationship is broken and your threats aint gonna fix it. Here’s the real hard truth: it aint gonna be fixed unless HE wants it fixed. You cannot make another person “ACT” the way you want them to. The right one for you, once you voice the concerns to him, will not just apologize but correct the behavior as he sees fit.

Here is another hard truth. You have to stop looking for someone else to bring you happiness. Codependency for your emotional happiness is setting yourself up to be miserable. Nobody is responsible for your happiness but you!

I know a lot of you are screaming at me now about how I am not a man… I don’t know what I’m talking about. No, I’m not a man but I have a Dad, 8 brothers, a man and all male friends. I get to hear what you and your homegirls don’t hear. I have always been that 1 girl in the middle of 10 dudes. I’m invited to the strip clubs and the bachelor parties. While ya’ll having girl days, I’m with my homeboys listening to them talk about ya’ll.

TODAY I FORGIVE MYSELF!

I forgive myself for not knowing better until I knew better! Being happy is a very personal thing that really has nothing to do with anyone else. I was guilty of giving away my power and allowing miserable people to pull me into their funk. 

Energy transfers: I am guilty of being an empath.  I know this, so I should know better. So, I have learned how to protect my energy with my life. I now have no problem not answering the phone when I’m afraid my energy might shift to a place I don’t want to be. I have no problem explaining to people why I choose to love them from a distance. 

I forgive myself for all the times I gave people the discounted rate of my services and they now expect it forever. Basically, I forgive myself for not knowing my worth. I forgive myself for selling myself cheap when I knew I deserved more.

I forgive myself for lowering my standards and going on those dates I didn’t want to go on and wasting my time with people I knew I didn’t see in my future.

I always was frustrated hearing people say the Christian thing to do is forgive. I get it… I really needed to forgive myself because nobody coulda let me down without me allowing it. So, today I forgive myself! I learned my lessons and I will move on!

I hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself too…

MY CAREER IS ONLY BROUGHT UP IN ARGUMENTS WHEN…

My career is only brought up in arguments when…

They felt threatened by me.

They have jealousy issues.

They felt inferior.

They were never my real friend.

There’s something strange about trying to have a friendship of any sort as an entertainer. You never really know where you stand with people until they don’t receive the reaction from you that they want! Then, the cat’s out of the bag. Instead of attacking my character as a person, they attack the characters I played. (The f@$k)

All of a sudden Ima washed up child star or they ain’t my groupie. Ain’t my groupie, wtf? This is when I am able to laugh. I can’t even be upset anymore or carry out any sort of debate or arguments, it’s over. The greatest gift life has given me is turning off my emotions. Because at that point the argument is no longer about me as a person, it’s about the way they have felt about me from the beginning. 9 outa 10, if they weren’t a fan of my career, they wouldn’t have been my friend in the first place. 

One thing about me, is my career choice has never defined me as a person and it’s not my daily thought, but obviously it is for them. These are not insults, nor do they hurt my feelings. Attacking my career is like attacking my shoes. It’s just a tool I wear to get me where I want to be.

That stands for everyone. Your career is your paycheck and anyone bringing up your means of livelihood in an argument, the real issue ain’t you! It’s them. 

I can guarantee you they ain’t happy with their life path or the reflection they see in the mirror. In life people have two choices: they can either be your co-stars or your audience… GO Shine! 

www.therealCherie.com

DON’T GET MAD WHEN MEN OR WOMEN GET GHOST…

Ladies, don’t get upset, hurt or mad when men get ghost! They are NOT the ones for you. They did you a favor. Better sooner than later. Let them go…

Men don’t feel they owe you an explanation of why they no longer want to talk to you, mostly because then they would have to take accountability for their participation in whatever changed their minds. 

There are a million different reasons why he’s not texting, calling, or reaching out to you anymore. The main reason is he is not the one for you… Period! And if he stayed in the picture, the right one would not come! So, allow the karma to catch him, while you catch yours. 

Step back, let the ego go and truly think, “is that who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?” 

Okay then, pick your chin up, dust yourself off and stop looking for an explanation they don’t want to give you. Silence speaks loud now; you just make sure you don’t give them the opportunity to come back and do it again! 

Lead with love and gratitude and manifest what it truly is that you’re looking for.  When you receive it, don’t be surprised and appreciate it. 

www.TherealCherie.com

THIS IS 45 YEARS OLD!

This is 45 years old! Don’t get caught up on a number. It makes me sad when I hear women and men depressed about their birthdays coming! I have loved my 40s. My 40s have been liberating! I have finally stopped worrying about pleasing other people and I please myself! I no longer say “yes” I will do it… when I mean, I don’t want too! I don’t care who doesn’t like me or who said what about me. It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t pay my bills nor change my tomorrow. In fact, the ones who used to run back to tell me what they said are no longer around me because why were they listening! 

Now that I am midway settled into my 40s, I realize some lessons have come with my 40s. I want to share 20 with you.

1. Make it a priority to love yourself! 

2. Don’t hold grudges, they end up hurting you more than the other people.

3. Travel and enjoy your life. See as much as you can.

4. If you want to do it, do it! Stop second guessing yourself.

5. Learn to trust your gut.

6. Spend as much time with your parents as you can.

7. Be vulnerable (don’t let your past hurt your future).

8. Make time for yourself.

9. Make memories, when life is over that’s all you have.

10. Stop worrying about the end result and enjoy the journey. 

11. Drink your water.

12. Stand up for yourself, don’t tolerate disrespect no matter who it’s from.

13. Never stop learning.

14. Listen more.

15. Let the ego go.

16. If your life isn’t where you want it to be, change your circle.

17.  Only spend time and energy on people who feed your soul.

18. Don’t save the good outfits, the good champagne. Enjoy them on any occasion!!

19. Eat your fruits and vegetables.

20. Happiness is a choice!

Enjoy your 40s! They really are fabulous and so are you! 

I DON’T MAKE RESOLUTIONS, I MAKE MEMORY BOARDS

Happy New Year to you and your family! New Year’s to me is a clean slate. It’s the opportunity to take the lessons that were learned the year prior and apply them to being greater this year! I had a laundry list of things I wanted to accomplish last year much like many of you, but as we know… COVID!

I took my time and started preparing for when the time had come for life to return to normal. Now I will spend my day putting together my vision board. After my vision board is complete, I will take a picture and it will become my screen saver on my phone. I have no choice but to look at it several times a day, no matter where I am.

For those of you who haven’t heard of a vision board, it’s also called a dream board. A dream board or vision board is a collage of images, pictures, and affirmations of one’s dreams and desires, designed to serve as a source of inspiration and motivation, and to use the law of attraction to attain goals.

Inspiration and Motivation leads to Manifestation. I am a huge believer in Manifestation because I have been able to manifest my whole life. Great things happen for me because I simply believe they will. I know several of you will find this concept crazy, but it’s true. The most successful people will tell you; their life is completely what they made it. While unsuccessful people will tell you life just happened to them.

So, what’s your choice? Are you going to make things happen this year or are you going to let them just happen? It’s all up to you. Happy New Year!!

4 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Christmas season is a happy, joyous time for those who are happy. Please check on your friends who have suffered major loss this year. The death of a love one is not easy to heal from, if you ever heal at all. Something about the holidays sparks up those feelings and reopens wounds like you just lost them yesterday. Depression sets in, as the world we once knew is majorly different. Loneliness sets in and the realization that they are not coming back hits hard. Stress brings on anxiety and it becomes a hard cycle to battle.

Since Christmas is about joy and love, this is a great time to reach out and just let them know they are not alone. Invite them to Christmas dinner or just lend them an ear and a warm hug. A simple smile and a warm hug go a long way with someone battling depression.

64% of people who suffer from mental illness report that the holidays make their condition worse.

Help your friends create new memories to hold onto, so they aren’t stuck just thinking of the old ones.

Also, self-care gifts can do amazing things for the ones busy taking care of everyone else but themselves.

*For those who are suffering, you are not alone. Help is available. Speak with a counselor today: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24 hours a day. 1-800-273-8255

REPOST: AT AGE 30, THESE WERE THE RULES THAT I SET FOR MY LIFE

This time of the year, people begin to reflect on how they want their lives to look and what changes need to made. Here’s a post about the rules I once made for myself.

***

When I turned 30, I made a new list of rules for myself.

  1. No more letting people borrow money that they never pay back!
  2. No more paying for women to have abortions! 
  3. No more accepting collect calls!
  4. No more taking care of other people’s children!
  5. No more feeling guilty and doing things I don’t want to do!
  6. No more going places because other people want me to go!
  7. No more meeting people’s families so they can prove they know me!
  8. I was tired of being the birthday clown. (Yes, people ask for you to come over like I’m a birthday present to someone.  It’s weird)!
  9. No more fake friends.  I’d rather spend my days alone!
  10. No more dating groupies (male groupies are just as bad as women)!
  11. No more driving people around like I’m a taxi!
  12. And last but not least, no more putting other people’s needs in front of my own!

I received an inspirational text from my friend Keeland Ellis that I will never forget. He told me, “Have no friends who do not equal you. Watch those that you don’t know who are always wanting to be with you, and those who are wanting to be like you!”

I wish he would have told me this straight out of high school but he told me on time because not only did I hear every word of it, but I understand it now so I guess that’s an example of God’s time.

IT’S MY DIVINE RIGHT TO BE FINANCIALLY SECURE

Speak after me: My words and thoughts are powerful! My tongue speaks truth.

Most people don’t understand what you say is what you receive. You need to understand that. You need to speak kindly about yourself and never be afraid to ask people and the universe for exactly what you want. 

The words “I am” are the most powerful words that will ever come out of your mouth! So, whatever you speak after those, you need to be very mindful. Because whether it’s positive or negative that you speak after the words “I am” is speaking your destiny.

If you can’t speak on what you are worthy of, how do you expect others to be in tune with your heart’s desires? 

5 keys to becoming truly successful are:

  1. Be thankful 
  2. Try daily affirmations 
  3. Purge old or negative energy that doesn’t serve you in a positive way.
  4. Work towards your goals daily.
  5. Change your environment and change your life.

The closest 5 people to you are who you become.

I promise if you do these things, your life will change. You are worthy of all!