SO, I’M AN INTROVERT. I’M NOT BORED OR SAD. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!

Here’s a post from 2019 for #flashbackfriday.

Yes, I am happiest alone and tend to shy away from people as much as I can.  As I grow older, I realize it’s because I am somewhat of an empath. Energy transfers and a lot of y’all have fucked up energy! Even many that I love have horrible energy and I have no desire to feel it. Even when you’re not complaining, the fact that you’re not happy in life weighs heavy on a empath’s heart.

I used 2 be the type who helped everyone and was somewhat of a fixer. If I could fix your issues, your self-esteem or help you pay your bills, I would but that shit is emotionally and financially draining. I’m over it and have divorced that part of my former self. In result, I also divorced many friendships willingly.

Now, I enjoy my peace. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you…but if you can’t share my space often, it might mean your energy just drains me. Have you ever gotten off the phone with someone and you all of a sudden were physically tired and depressed, but right before the call you were happy and energetic? I don’t mean a call that delivered bad news or a death but a regular call from the homie? That means energy transferred now you are carrying their vibe with you, until you shake it off or transfer it back to someone else. I hate that feeling. I no longer wish to take on other people’s emotions. By myself, I’m chill with no drama. Except my drama of motherhood but that’s my entertainment!

I have friends who think they are being sweet, but they get on my nerves tryna force me to be positioned in social situations. I try to explain it to them, but they don’t get it. I don’t need more friends, I don’t want nobody else calling my phone, I aint tryna hang out. I’m tryna chill at Chuck E Cheese, not a bar, a social gathering, or anywhere with these grown folks. I could be doing something with my kid! I’ve spent my entire life being social. I literally want to spend some time being left alone. I don’t see why that’s so hard to understand.

My whole point in writing this was to say preserve your mental health by guarding the energy you allow to share your personal space.

I AM A LOYAL, FAITHFUL NERD WHO IS REALLY CRAVING ADVENTURE!

This is reassurring: I have NO problems with commitment! There are so many different options on the menu and I’m like give me “old faithful.” I keep going back to what I know! You know why? IT’S NEVER LET ME DOWN! 

I don’t know what scares me about trying something new. Worst case scenario: I don’t like it! Right? Then, I never have to try that again. 

Every time I tell myself today… Ima try something new. Ima woman now and my taste buds need tantalizers of variety. I mean they come in different sizes and colors, hot or cold. So many choices, do I walk in or go through the drive thru. (Some of you just got confused, huh?) Well, you dirty minded people, I’m talking about Starbucks! I stand there reading the menu EVERYTIME like this will be the day I order something different! Face palm, I don’t know how! No other words will come out my mouth! 

I’m hooked on the Chai-Tea Latte, a Venti one please with coconut milk. Yes, Hot. I don’t care that it’s summer, trying an iced one would be new, smh. New worries me, smh! Consistent satisfaction is calming to my soul and keeps me faithful. The warmth when I get the cup in my hand and the smell as it approaches my nose is everything! Instant gratification and mood changer. The sky could fall, and I will care when I get down to the end! That last sip where I turn my cup all the way up, knowing there’s no more inside but I take off my lid anyway to look. Lol 

One day, Starbucks, one day Ima come in and try something new! What are your favorites, people? Maybe suggestions will help. 

🍒FUN CHERIE FACTS

Here’s a repost for those who are new to the blog. This was originally posted in 2018.

  1. I enjoy being at home more than at a party.
  2. I am part of the Alzheimer’s Association Board.
  3. On June 26, 2011, I won an Opulence Humanitarian Award.
  4. In April 2011, I won the AAMBC Reader’s Choice Award.
  5. People ask me every day, “What it’s like to be famous?” I don’t know. I don’t know life any other way.  I’ve been on TV since I was 6 years old. The word “famous” makes me laugh when it’s being directed towards me.  It’s almost unreal.
  6. My P.E. Teacher told me I could get out of P.E. in high school if I did the Urkle dance… I chose to get an attitude and play basketball like everyone else.
  7. In November 2010, the guys from the Bottom Line Sports Show made one of my dreams come true when I got to interview Pittsburgh Steelers Charlie Batch, Ike Taylor, William Gay, Coco Crisp, Travis Johnson and clown with a Cleveland Brown Abram Elam, Dennis Northcutt and speak to Chicago Bull C.J. Watson.
  8. I went on a date August 2011 with a guy in New Jersey who screamed “Punky Power!” in a restaurant. Yes, it was only one date!
  9. I have a gang of jobs – I teach, I act, I produce films, I’m an author, I contribute to Fever Magazine, I’m a Certified Nutritionist and I am a Homeschooling Mom.
  10. I had my 1st orgasm while getting my tattoo on my ankle.

Okay, your turn.  Tell me a fun fact about you in the comments.

WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEAN TO YOU?

Living in Los Angeles, I realized success means different things to different people. That’s okay! Everyone has the right to have their own success meter that works for them. 

Unfortunately, the majority of people I ran across are totally caught up in material. Not only is it how they gage their own success, but how they gage value in others. 

This is where the disconnect comes into play for me. I’ve always been more Holly from the Hood than Hollywood! That’s that P.A. blood in me. 

Yes, I was raised in Oak Park and went to Westlake High School, but as soon as I got my driver’s license you could find me in South Central. It wasn’t rebellion, as “People” called it. It was a sense of home, love, and food, which equates happiness to me. To me success is just that: Happiness! 

I know a shit ton of financially wealthy people who are Happy poor! 

This taught me that yes, finances are extremely important especially as a parent, but that’s not based on what kinda car you drive. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ma car girl and love my Ferraris, but a $1,500 car note when you don’t own property to impress someone is just plain stupid. My biggest flex to date is I’ve never had a car note. I drive sensible cars that I can pay for, that get me where I need to go and home. I’ve gotten clowned a lot for my choices. I drove a Toyota Camry for 13 years and it was the best choice I ever made. Others felt I wasn’t cool enough because my peers were in Benzs and BMWs. But when I sat behind the wheel of my XLE with that Gold Package, the fact I was able to buy myself a high school graduation present with cash was everything to me! You can’t tell me I wasn’t the shit! Now again, for ME that’s success. 

I will never forget in my early 30s, I had a friend/foe who tried to clown me about my big screen TV, she was like, “Where’s your Plasma?”

I looked at her and laughed.

First, I don’t even watch TV.

Second, she lived down south, so she could get a flat screen from Walmart for $200.

Third, she was on section 8 and fed her kids with food stamps. For her that was her gage for success. That was okay, but my lane isn’t hers. Then, she tried to clown me about how I was driving an old ass car. At the time, my 350z was 4 years old.

I said, “This car is brand new. My last I kept for 13 years… You don’t even know me.” Bottom line, the friendship wasn’t evenly yoked and that’s OKAY, but I wasn’t about to let her Gage on my Success or waver my happiness. 

The biggest joke about LA is you see a lot of broke folks in a Benz living paycheck to paycheck. For them, that’s success: Car Note & Rent! 

ALL MONEY AINT GOOD MONEY!

There is a man that I know, who honestly has been tryna get at me for many, many years. We just never clicked. I am in no way attracted to his personality, but we have made money together. 6 figure money a few times. So, every so often when I hear from him, I respond. Now, he’s been in my text thread heavily for the past month. He texted me yesterday and asked if I would call him. He had a branding opportunity for me. I didn’t listen to my gut and I called anyway because…Hell, it’s about money. 

I called him all chipper, “Hey, what you got good?” I asked him.

“I have this cosmetic company in South Africa looking for a named talent to be the face of a new makeup line,” he says.

“Makeup really isn’t my thing, (I have sensitive skin.) but what’s the details?” I asked.

With hesitation in his voice, he says, “It contains a special component”.

My mind is racing. I’m thinking, oh anti-aging or something. Curious now I say, “What component does it contain?”

“Skin lightening agents,” he said non confident.

” WTF You just say?” I asked.

He had the nerve to repeat himself.

“WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD BE OKAY SELLING SOMETHING TO LIGHTEN THE SKIN OF BLACK WOMEN?” I screamed. (I wanted to make sure he heard me).

“Just hear me out… there is a lot of money on the table, and you don’t want to pass this opportunity up!” He tells me.

“I can’t believe your ass was dumb enough to even call me with this bullshit! What kinda self-hating mothafucka are you?” I screamed.

“Why do I have to be self-hating?” he asked.

“As a Black man, you thought it was a good idea to come at me with this? I asked him.

“These White boys are ready to spend big money. Calm down and remove your ego! They really feel this will be big,” he said to me.

“My ego has nothing to do with this; it has everything to do with my morals. I am a Black woman who loves herself…” 

“Well, I have this cannabis deal…” he says.

“I don’t smoke and I’m on a kid show.” I cut him off quickly and screamed.

Long story short, I have followers who always say I shouldn’t curse and I don’t want the kids reading exactly what came out of my mouth after that, but I called him every damn self-hating coon I could think of. I was completely taken back why a deep chocolate Black man with a whole African name would think it was okay to even come at me with a proposition like this. They say you attract everything that comes to you.

Then, I got even more pissed because it’s a company owned by White people and they got a 53-year-old coon volunteering to go do their dirty work and for the love of money, he was okay with presenting this to me like it was no big deal… Our own are the ones who sell us out STILL IN HUMAN TRAFFICKING TODAY.

Then, I laughed, and I said to him, “You always asked me why I wouldn’t marry you. This right here is why,” I yelled.

He said, “I’ve only been chasing you for 15 years.”

(Can’t say exactly what I said after that, I’m pretty sure it would be considered bullying.) 

For a woman to marry a man, she has to believe he will make choices in their best interest and you would sell me for a dollar. I could NEVER trust you to make any choice in my best interest. I hung up.

Sad thing is that someone else will bite. He will find another Black entertainer who will be all for it because they need the money and that’s what breaks my heart most.

All opportunities aren’t good opportunities. When someone shows you that they feel your morals can be easily switched by the almighty dollar: RUN! 

I’VE NEVER BEEN PRESSED ON MONEY. I am the same with my pockets full as I am with them empty. Money has never waived my morals and I stay clear of those who worship paper over the best interests of anyone. So, DNA went in my phone where his name was. DO NOT ANSWER! I’m getting better at it, as the years go on. He shoulda stuck with doing real estate with me, period.

I Don’t Know Why I Still Allow People To Shock Me, but I’m still Pissed off! Sistas, don’t give any man the power to persuade you to do anything because money is involved. Value yourself and know everything that comes to you, aint for you! When you know your worth, you NEVER have to settle. 

REPOST: 10 THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME

For those who are new to the blog, here are 10 things you don’t know about me:

1. I have no patience and I hate waiting. Time is one of the only things I can’t get back in this world, like my virginity. So, when it’s wasted, I’m pissed.

2. I don’t like talking on the phone.

3. After 30, I became antisocial.

4. I can’t stand dirty ears.

5. After breaking down my guns and cleaning them, I can put them back together blind folded thanks 2 my brother Mark! (These were the games he taught me as a kid, smh, lol.) We grew up with guns and were taught to never disrespect their power but how to use them if needed or necessary. If u take care of them, they will take care of you.

6. In a room full of people I’d rather observe than talk.

7. I had my ex-boyfriend’s name tattoo’d on me as a young girl. LOL, it’s now covered. (Because of who it is, I don’t regret it. Just thankful I didn’t put any of the others’ damn names on me.)

8. I like me… so I don’t care if you don’t like me.

9. I don’t dress trendy. I wear what I like no matter what others feel about it.

10. I dream of producing TV shows and movies, even owning a Ferrari. I’m still playing “That’s my car” with my big brother, lol.

www.TeamCherieJ.com

CAN YOU SEE THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES WHEN THEY LOOK AT YOU?

It’s that feeling you get that makes you have butterflies and feel all warm and tingly. That look of love. “Your eyes are the windows to your soul,” Darius McCrary told me when I was 13 years old and I’ve never forgotten it. Mostly because of the look he gave me when he said it. It was that look of love! The look that made me feel special and like I was the only one in the room with him, even though we were in a crowded room full of people.


Eye contact is a transfer of energy! You can tell how someone feels about you, just by looking at them. It’s hard for the eyes to lie. You can often look into a person’s eyes and sense their character.


When someone loves you, looking into their eyes is a revelation again and again that they care for you. One of the sweetest moments I’ve shared with my man was in silence, simply sitting on the couch across from one another. I was reading and I caught him just staring at me for no reason, with a smile on his face. I looked up and smiled. I appreciate being admired by him. I appreciate being loved. 


The look on his face when we leave each other… even though we always say, “I love you” because the words are important… there is really no need for the words, it’s felt in the look.

THE BLACK REALITY

Having a casual conversation about a family road trip hurt my heart. My man and I were talking about all the things we want to do after Covid and one of them was to go back to Disneyworld. Then, driving from Disneyworld to Atlanta, Georgia and we/he decided it was probably just safer to fly. Not because of car accidents because we didn’t want to deal with the trauma of the police.

Me: I’d rather leave early in the morning, babe. I don’t wanna be on the road late at night. It just makes me nervous to be on that back road with Rhythm in the car.

My Man: Yeah, I understand, and it makes it worse to have me in the car with you.

This is when my heart sank to my feet! The White reality is having a man with you is supposed to bring a sense of safety and more security to your family! For a Black family who simply wants to take vacation and go to Disneyworld, it’s a risk factor! Here is where my attitude kicked in.

Me: “Fuck Disneyworld and Fuck Georgia, we have been to both of them before. I don’t even wanna go.”

My Man: “Naw babe, don’t get like that. We can just fly to Georgia after, so it won’t be a problem.”

He’s so sweet and calm and such a peacemaker. Meanwhile, we can just go to Disneyland call it a day and save all the travel money all together. I’m now mad as hell and pissed off and hurt. Hurt for him because he can’t bring comfort to his family by being in the car. My White friends, please read this again! This right here is NOT okay! 

People wonder why Black women seem to have an attitude problem. We harbor so much hurt and disappointment, not just for ourselves, but the ones we love most. The men in our lives who simply want to live but are in constant fear. Our children who aren’t even aware of the dangers ahead every time they leave the house simply because of the color of their skin!  You would walk around looking pissed off too if the Black experience was your damn reality every time you left the house. 

www.therealCherie.com

MY CAREER IS ONLY BROUGHT UP IN ARGUMENTS WHEN…

My career is only brought up in arguments when…

They felt threatened by me.

They have jealousy issues.

They felt inferior.

They were never my real friend.

There’s something strange about trying to have a friendship of any sort as an entertainer. You never really know where you stand with people until they don’t receive the reaction from you that they want! Then, the cat’s out of the bag. Instead of attacking my character as a person, they attack the characters I played. (The f@$k)

All of a sudden Ima washed up child star or they ain’t my groupie. Ain’t my groupie, wtf? This is when I am able to laugh. I can’t even be upset anymore or carry out any sort of debate or arguments, it’s over. The greatest gift life has given me is turning off my emotions. Because at that point the argument is no longer about me as a person, it’s about the way they have felt about me from the beginning. 9 outa 10, if they weren’t a fan of my career, they wouldn’t have been my friend in the first place. 

One thing about me, is my career choice has never defined me as a person and it’s not my daily thought, but obviously it is for them. These are not insults, nor do they hurt my feelings. Attacking my career is like attacking my shoes. It’s just a tool I wear to get me where I want to be.

That stands for everyone. Your career is your paycheck and anyone bringing up your means of livelihood in an argument, the real issue ain’t you! It’s them. 

I can guarantee you they ain’t happy with their life path or the reflection they see in the mirror. In life people have two choices: they can either be your co-stars or your audience… GO Shine! 

www.therealCherie.com

MY BUSINESS ISN’T ON SOCIAL MEDIA, MY PERSONALITY IS…

It’s simple. I post things that make me laugh. I post things that entertain me. I post things to provoke thought. I entertain myself. 

My page is public, and my real friends do not contact me on social media for conversation. They call or text my phone. Social media for me is a way to connect with friends I don’t know personally who have grown up with me. It’s a way for me to let you know what I am doing now and have a conversation. It’s a way to connect, have fun, share a laugh or a few words of encouragement. 

I have never invited the public into my home, so you better believe you aint gonna learn nothing good to gossip about me from my post. I’m just here for shits and giggles only. 

Not for you to know my family. WHY you ask? Cuz yall crazy!! While there are some champions, most of you just need something or someone to talk about so why would I offer up my kids and my man? Social media is a human trafficker’s playground. Social media is a cesspool of negativity that I refuse to welcome into my life. Social media is social and honestly, I only pretend to be. 

This chapter of my life is reserved and pretty closed off, the way I have become with age. My most precious moments do not make social media. Even though it’s the culture to share what we drive, every meal, who we are with, I choose to keep some things for myself, and it’s okay if you do too.

Not in a rude way but just because you read my stuff doesn’t mean you know my business, boo.