10 THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME

10 things you don’t know about me:

1. I have no patience and I hate waiting. Time is one of the only things I can’t get back in this world, like my virginity. So, when it’s wasted, I’m pissed.

2. I don’t like talking on the phone.

3. After 30, I became antisocial.

4. I can’t stand dirty ears.

5. After breaking down my guns and cleaning them, I can put them back together blind folded thanks 2 my brother Mark! (These were the games he taught me as a kid, smh, lol.) We grew up with guns and were taught to never disrespect their power but how to use them if needed or necessary. If u take care of them, they will take care of you.

6. In a room full of people I’d rather observe than talk.

7. I had my ex-boyfriend’s name tattoo’d on me as a young girl. LOL, it’s now covered. (Because of who it is, I don’t regret it. Just thankful I didn’t put any of the others’ damn names on me.)

8. I like me… so I don’t care if you don’t like me.

9. I don’t dress trendy. I wear what I like no matter what others feel about it.

10. I dream of producing TV shows and movies, even owning a Ferrari. I’m still playing “That’s my car” with my big brother, lol.

www.TeamCherieJ.com

I HAVEN’T BEEN VERY INSPIRED TO WRITE LATELY…

I haven’t been very inspired to write lately. I hope I don’t have the Corona blues. While I don’t feel down, I am starting to feel life inside is the same day after day. Never thought it was taking a toll on me because I am a total introvert until my team hit me up and said, “Hey we need blogs.” “Oh, (I thought to myself) I guess cooking, social media and homeschool hasn’t really inspired me lately because everyone is doing the same thing now.” 

Homeschooling was like an exclusive club a few months back but look at us now! Lol, it’s a national thing.

I do wish more parents would embrace it and try to have fun with it since they know it’s temporary. As parents, education should be a main concern. While I understand most have a new value system for teachers, your child’s education shouldn’t be solely in the hands of strangers. So if you need guidance, I work with an amazing group of teachers ready to help you.

Lilcheriehelps@gmail.com 

www.TeamCherieJ.com

MY LOVE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA

I’m really excited because social media has really closed the gap, it’s giving me a chance to become friends with people who have grown up with me. And for that I’d like to thank you. Oh, I have my moments where I hate social media. But today, I’m full of love. Someone wrote me that they were 44 years old and they started watching me on Punky Brewster. Then I got excited because I like their comment, so not only did I like the comment, but I followed his page. It was so sweet to me that he would even care. I grew up with you, just like a lot of you don’t feel that I’m a stranger, I don’t feel that you are either. You’re like that friend or a family member that I haven’t seen in a really long time but when we get together, we pick back up right where we left off. For me, that’s the most beautiful thing about social media. I also have learned that social media is really good for my business. I’ve been able to come in contact with new clients, to keep my clients and it’s become an awesome tool for me to handle customer service myself. So today I am thankful for each and every one of you. I love you! Enjoy your day because you have made mine.

Kisses love,

Cherie

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO BUYS STUFF I WILL NEVER WEAR??!!

I don’t enjoy shopping. I am not the average girl, I know. I do not want to go out and try on clothes. I hate makeup and don’t wanna comb my hair! Maybe because I always do it for work. Someone else is always picking out my clothes and I try on outfit after outfit, so I always feel like it’s work and NOT something I want to do in my free time. (I don’t enjoy it… it’s like a chore).

So occasionally when I have to go buy clothes, I run in a store and I just pull things off the rack.  I never try them on. I come home and find them in my closet months later… this is exactly what happened with this item. 

So, it’s springtime supposedly but the weather is completely bipolar. Today was one of those days where it wasn’t hot, and it wasn’t freezing but it was a little chilly. So, it’s in the back of my closet and I remember I had bought this like sweatshirt thing that I thought was going to be totally cute on and will be perfect just to run to the grocery store. Well when I put it on, I felt like a complete idiot. I wanted to know what happened to the rest of my sweatshirt. Maybe I’m just getting old, but I wanted my shoulders covered. For some reason I was completely uncomfortable. I kept pulling the sleeves up trying to see if I could cover my shoulders one way or another, but it just wasn’t working. This is by far one of the most God-awful things I’ve ever purchased for myself. It’s one of those things will just sit in my closet forever that I will never wear until I end up donating it. It reminds me of when my brother used to look at my clothes and ask me, “What happened to the rest of them?” 

Cold Shoulder

I put it on and screamed what happened to the material that was supposed to cover my shoulders? And the ruffles at the top don’t make it no better. I hate this sweatshirt, it’s not even grocery store worthy. (I hate the grocery store) My damn shoulders will freeze in the grocery store! No way did I look like Naomi Oats Harper from the hit show Mama’s Family

Mama’s Family

Yeah, I just told my age! Look at my shoulders, just cold for no reason!

WHEN I SAY THAT I’M A FEMINIST…

When I say I’m a feminist & it offends you, it makes me wonder about your character not mine!

Why are people so offended by the word feminist? Society expects me to be feminine… but yet saying I’m a feminist is offensive, can you see the oxymoron of that!

When I say I’m a feminist, I’m saying I champion my sisters! When I say I’m a feminist, I’m saying that I’m listening to you, sister. I am here with you, sister.  I feel you, my sister.

When I say that I’m a feminist, I am saying that I know your pain… I know he hurts you.  I will not be an enabler and watch my sister be hurt by men! Not in my presence whether I know her or Not! When I say I’m a feminist, I’m saying I agree OUR pay should be equal!

When I say I’m a feminist, I am saying I will fight for you. When I say I’m a feminist, I’m saying, “Hey sister, I’m your safe place.”  

When I say that I’m a feminist, I’m saying everybody needs a shoulder to cry on, sister, no judgment here. We are friends. 

When I’m saying I’m a feminist, I’m saying…he abused you. I will sit with you while these male cops interrogate you as if you are the criminal instead of treating you like a victim who was just raped! 

When I say I’m a feminist, I’m saying I will never let the words, “He’s not that kind of person come out of my mouth.” Because only a fool would speak on what another man will and will not do!

When I say that I’m a feminist, it means I will not sit by and watch a young girl or even a grown woman get trafficked.

When I say that I’m a feminist, I will not allow my homegirl to get caught up in an abusive relationship and not try to show her a way out.

When I say I’m a feminist, I am saying little girls of the WORLD, no matter what situation you were born into, you can grow up and be anything you want to be on this earth! 

When I say I’m a feminist, I’m not saying I don’t need a man. I’m not saying that I don’t like men and I’m not saying that I’m gay. I’m not saying that I’m better than a man.  I love men…I adore my brothers. I also love and adore me!

You cannot make me feel guilty because I love myself and you cannot make me feel guilty because I love the mirror of myself and the mirror of myself that is my sisters…Period.

It is the feminist side in me that compliments my sisters when I see them looking good! It is the feminist side in me who tells my sister congratulations when she’s accomplished her goals. It is the feminist side in me who cries when I watch women and young girls get rewarded for things that they work so hard for whether I know them or not. It is the feminist in me who loves Beyoncé and wants her to win like the rest of the beehive. It is the feminine side and me who sticks up for Blue Ivy and North West children who I’ve never met, but I hate to see people assassinate on them on the Internet.

I’m a feminist because I love women, and I love then simply because I love myself. If you don’t love God’s gift to this world, that very being that brought you into this world, there’s something wrong with you not me!

When the fact that I say I’m a feminist offends you, it makes me wonder about your character not mine! I’m a feminine feminist who will fight from my sisters.

www.TeamCherieJ.com

AN OPEN LETTER TO OUR PUNKY FRIENDS!

38 years ago, I met this little vivacious girl in the hallway! We became fast friends drawing pictures together sitting in the same chair. Little did I know we would break ground going down in pop culture history as iconic TV best friends. Recently, I read somewhere they were comparing us to Laverne and Shirley, Lucy and Ethel!! It brought tears to my eyes! What an amazing honor (Like how lucky are we.). Some jobs are just that for actors, JOBS. Others leave a lifelong impression on the way you live your everyday life. 

Soleil and I both grew up believing we could accomplish anything we put our minds to. At the time when we shot the very first pilot, I don’t believe either of us knew how much we would forever carry our characters and the show with us. 

The Universe and Peacock gave us the opportunity to shoot the pilot again many years later as adults and I can’t explain this time around how we absorbed how important that moment was.

I have a confession to all of you and Soleil, LOL. Soleil turned around moments before they said action and said, “Hey Cherie, are you nervous?” 

“No this is gonna be great” I whispered to her with excitement. 

I gave her the biggest nervous giggle ever! I was excited but nervous too, but I couldn’t act nervous because I didn’t want to transfer that energy. I know she knows I was full of shit LOL, but I stayed right next to her sometimes on the other side of the wall cheering her on as she nailed EVERY SCENE!! 

I LAUGHED I CRIED!!!

My reactions to the show were genuine and it was great! I can’t wait for you all to see the pilot and the show. It was so special, and I pray each of you enjoy it! The writers are working so hard to make sure every episode is within that PUNKY spirit. Thank you all for continuing to grow with us and being so receptive to having us back! 

You truly are our friends forever! I LOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU!! THE PUNKY CAST AND CREW ARE TRULY FAMILY AND YOU ARE AN EXTENSION OF THAT! THANK YOU!!!

                                       ~POR VIDA~

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STATUS SHOULDN’T BE A SECRET

I just found out that one of my high school best friends is bipolar. Like diagnosed! The sad thing is his whole family knew…but none ever told me! I guess in high school they could help regulate him and keep him on his meds. “Back Story” ….so he was always a loose cannon, but he was pretty normal like any other teenager. After high school, things begin to change but I held onto my friendship into the middle of the 2000s. 

I remember going into an audition and seeing my friend walk down the street.  He looked homeless, I felt sad! I brought him home with me! I made him take a shower, wash his clothes and gave him something to eat but shortly after he began to act erratically, and I had to get him out of my house. I was sad because I never felt uncomfortable being alone with him until that day. He was screaming about how he could elevate things using his mind and he was angry I didn’t see it. I asked him if he was on drugs, he insisted things were floating around my house! (Yeah, he had to go, I dropped him off back where I found him Hollywood Blvd.)

We had always stayed in touch. Yes, he had called me a few times, yelled and said crazy things on the phone but I didn’t know the signs, so I missed it. 

A few years after high school, our contact dwindled down. It was no longer a day-to-day thing anymore. More like a once a month check in and that’s pretty natural. People grow up and go in different directions. We would lose touch but every once in a while, the universe brought us back together.

Around 2013, I worked for a magazine and my office was in Hollywood.  One day I got a great surprise my friend showed up to see me…so he was still hanging out in Hollywood area often. Someone had told him that my office was nearby. It actually overlooked Sunset Blvd. I was so excited to see him walk up in my office, it brought me so much joy! He looked good, he was clean, he had on nice clothes, but he had a lil beard. It was awesome to see him looking like an adult. We exchange numbers again…stayed in touch. Everything was pretty much back to normal, we reunited, and I felt like I had my homey back. 

Then 2014… Not sure if you know the details of my pregnancy but it was extremely high-risk! I had emergency surgery, was on heart meds, had gestational diabetes, contractions daily and hormone shots. I was on bed rest for seven months and was told no stress!  Anything that caused me stress, I had to let it go. Not only from my life but also for my child. At that point anything and everyone who caused drama I easily said goodbye too.

I got a phone call one afternoon from my friend, he was cussing me out! I mean BAD, he was saying all kinds of mean things to me and I didn’t understand what was going on or where it was coming from. I tried to calm him down and I explained to him the situation that I was in and how I could not do stress. He didn’t care, he screamed at me, “Bitch, I don’t care!”  I hung up the phone. Usually I would have cussed him out, but I was having contractions and couldn’t deal. He musta called me back 30 times. Finally, I answered again, and I said, “What is wrong with you? I told you I just can’t take the chaos right now.” His response was, “Fuck you, bitch. I hope you die. I hope you contract HIV and die of AIDS and I hope your sick mama dies.” 

I hung up the phone and I reached out to his brother and asked his brother was he on drugs because nothing else made sense. His brother told me there was nothing wrong with him. I didn’t accept that answer so then I called his mother and said, “I’m really really worried about him. I think he’s on crack because nothing else makes sense.” I was then sternly told, “He might smoke a little bit of weed but he’s not on crack.” I said, “He’s on something, he’s not OK.” Then his mother basically told me she didn’t know what I was talking about, he was grown and she didn’t have anything to do with it. I understand having loyalty to your child but clearly, he wasn’t getting the help he needed. For the life of me I can’t understand why she chose to still not tell me? This is a man I’ve known 30 years! 

At that moment I kissed him goodbye, in my mind of course, not physically! I prayed for him and I let the friendship go.  His mom is a really sweet lady, she calls and checks on me from time to time and we keep in touch mostly on social media. His sister also keeps in contact with me but my friend and his brother I don’t really deal with. 

My daughter is now five years old. I thank God daily she was born healthy and I am off heart meds. Well his brother reached out to me recently and asked me to call him. I declined, I told him I was very much at peace. My life is changed, I’ve changed completely and no longer can I do the chaos. I refuse to have that kind of energy in my life. His brother said he understands. It was pretty much left at that. 

Shortly after I got a call from another family member who decided to tell me he was not on drugs, but he is bipolar! He refuses to take his medicine sometimes and that’s why he acts the way he does. 

My heart broke.  I have been asking for years what was wrong with my friend. I thought he was on drugs I asked him repeatedly if he was on crack! I asked his mother repeatedly was he on crack because nothing else made sense! I’ve known this man since the ninth grade. I never knew that he had a mental health disorder. That piece of information is HUGE and was never disclosed to me. That in itself was a shock to my core, and it hurt my heart because had I known I could’ve handled the whole friendship differently. 

I could’ve been a support, I wouldn’t taken every bad thing so personally, I wouldn’t have been so offended every time he cussed me out and I wouldn’t been so stressed out or heartbroken by the thing that he had done.  The things he had said. Unfortunately, at this point the relationship is pretty much unrepairable but I do have the answers I’ve been looking for… for 20 years! My friend is bipolar. 

With that little bit of information, I can forgive him. I can pray for him in a different way now. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to be an assistant to helping him with his mental health but I simply didn’t know. Had I known things would be different…had I known he would know my daughter. He’s never even seen a picture.

I wish people with mental health issues would be open and honest about their status to the people close to them. 

www.TeamCherieJ.com

CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?

I self-diagnose myself all the time. (I am a lightweight hypochondriac. And a slight germaphobe and just hate to be sick!) I was due for my annual pap smear just in time for me to diagnose myself with a UTI! My pee didn’t burn, and I am emptying my bladder, but the issue is I feel like I always have to pee. I drink 16 oz of water and I’m in the bathroom like 4 times. 

So, my Dr. walks in after checking out my urine sample, checking for this UTI…he took my blood to check my sugar. Nothing! He says my bladder may have fallen from having a child, but he is pretty sure my issue is self-induced. 

“Self-Induced?” I asked him.

“Yes Cherie, you caused this. (Pause) You are drinking too much water,” he said. Dead pan.

“No bacteria was found. You don’t have a sting when you urinate. Your A1C came back fine, you don’t have diabetes. You are drinking too much water.”

“Every single time I self-diagnose, I do it wrong!” I started laughing.

“I’m going to treat you like I do the children…2 hours before you go to bed you are not to drink anything.” 

I put my head down. 

“Yes, Doctor.” Feeling 10 years old. 

So, there we have it! WebMD and Googling my symptoms, I’m done with you! We are divorced!! 

2020 – I am giving that up! 

www.TeamCherieJ.com

ACCOUNTABILITY TO REDUCE MY STRESS

When you want things in your life to change, the first thing you need to do is look at yourself. I can’t change others, but I can change the way I deal with them. I know instead of complaining about things I want to change; I must change myself.

I am not great with technology! It’s just not my strong point and I have been overwhelmed trying to learn different apps and programs for the different business ventures I have. I will take some time to master some and others I will have to learn to decline simply because it ends up costing me wasted time and in the end my time is money. (It’s okay to decline doing things especially when it doesn’t pay you).

I am anal when it comes to time because it’s the only thing I can’t get back. I will give people a 10-minute grace period and then I will be over it. I will stop working around everyone else’s schedule and stick to my own. (Some people have no respect for other people’s time and when you constantly inconvenience yourself for them instead of them appreciating it and trying harder to be on time…they figure it’s okay and they continue to treat you that way.) “Teach people how to treat you,” they say, so I will do! If after 10 minutes and there’s a no show, I’m out! Reschedule may or may NOT happen, depending on how convenient it is for me.  Period with NO explanations.

I need to say “NO” more and Will!  I continue to find myself doing things other people want me to that I have absolutely no interest in. My goals are plentiful so when female friends wanna have “hangout time,” it cuts into time when I could actually be working on one of my goals. Hanging out, visiting and girl chatting is so not my interest and I’m not tryna be mean, it just doesn’t help me complete my goals. The needy friends will be pissed but the solids who will be around in 10 years will understand and want to see me meet my goals. Which leads me to learning to unplug!! My cell phone will NOT be my 3rd hand in 2020. I will give myself business hours and respond to people when it’s convenient to. If they have to wait for a reply, that’s okay. Every business has on and off hours. I deserve to as well. (Self-care) It will also give me time to look in my baby’s eyes more often. 

Lastly, but most importantly, I have a 5-year-old. Keeping to a schedule is key! If I want her asleep by 8 p.m., I know I have to have dinner ready on time. Which means I need to start meal prepping and learn how to make some crock pot meals. Pinterest, here I come….

If you have any great kid friendly Crock Pot recipes, please share some Advice with Your Sista!?!

THIS WAS MY DEFINITION OF BEAUTIFUL GROWING UP!

This was my definition of beautiful growing up! All-natural, beautiful brown skinned woman with no implants, weaves or blond hair! When I was 10 years old my Mom bought me this tape to listen to on our long plane trip to Finland. It was on repeat on my Walkman the whole way. I thought Whitney was gorgeous and I still do today. We are our daughters’ first teachers! Please be cautious that little girls take notes and want to look like the women they admire! I love myself because my mother LOVES HERSELF! 

I’m perfectly imperfected and I love myself that way! My ass is small has stretch marks, my waist has spread with my age, my boobs aren’t as firm or as high as there were years ago. I have adult acne but it’s OK it’s Me!

Ladies, please teach your daughters they are beautiful and to love themselves! We don’t need any more Black blonds bleaching their skin with butt implants and boobs running around! Women are DYING literally trying to look like they are on a music video. Teach your daughters in 2020 to have higher goals for themselves than to be some rapper’s arm candy or a pole dancer, please. 

I am fully aware that my child will be a little sponge, and all be damn, will think whatever skin color or hair texture they come out with is less than perfect! The generation before me has some major self-hate they have done their best to pass down. When will you put a stop to it in your family? It stops with me and my daughter was removed from the environment where she would be told that she was less than perfect because of her skin color or her hair! Melanin is popping, people are paying for it!  💲But that’s a whole different post. Love the skin you’re in! 👊