CAN YOU SEE THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES WHEN THEY LOOK AT YOU?

It’s that feeling you get that makes you have butterflies and feel all warm and tingly. That look of love. “Your eyes are the windows to your soul,” Darius McCrary told me when I was 13 years old and I’ve never forgotten it. Mostly because of the look he gave me when he said it. It was that look of love! The look that made me feel special and like I was the only one in the room with him, even though we were in a crowded room full of people.


Eye contact is a transfer of energy! You can tell how someone feels about you, just by looking at them. It’s hard for the eyes to lie. You can often look into a person’s eyes and sense their character.


When someone loves you, looking into their eyes is a revelation again and again that they care for you. One of the sweetest moments I’ve shared with my man was in silence, simply sitting on the couch across from one another. I was reading and I caught him just staring at me for no reason, with a smile on his face. I looked up and smiled. I appreciate being admired by him. I appreciate being loved. 


The look on his face when we leave each other… even though we always say, “I love you” because the words are important… there is really no need for the words, it’s felt in the look.

THE BLACK REALITY

Having a casual conversation about a family road trip hurt my heart. My man and I were talking about all the things we want to do after Covid and one of them was to go back to Disneyworld. Then, driving from Disneyworld to Atlanta, Georgia and we/he decided it was probably just safer to fly. Not because of car accidents because we didn’t want to deal with the trauma of the police.

Me: I’d rather leave early in the morning, babe. I don’t wanna be on the road late at night. It just makes me nervous to be on that back road with Rhythm in the car.

My Man: Yeah, I understand, and it makes it worse to have me in the car with you.

This is when my heart sank to my feet! The White reality is having a man with you is supposed to bring a sense of safety and more security to your family! For a Black family who simply wants to take vacation and go to Disneyworld, it’s a risk factor! Here is where my attitude kicked in.

Me: “Fuck Disneyworld and Fuck Georgia, we have been to both of them before. I don’t even wanna go.”

My Man: “Naw babe, don’t get like that. We can just fly to Georgia after, so it won’t be a problem.”

He’s so sweet and calm and such a peacemaker. Meanwhile, we can just go to Disneyland call it a day and save all the travel money all together. I’m now mad as hell and pissed off and hurt. Hurt for him because he can’t bring comfort to his family by being in the car. My White friends, please read this again! This right here is NOT okay! 

People wonder why Black women seem to have an attitude problem. We harbor so much hurt and disappointment, not just for ourselves, but the ones we love most. The men in our lives who simply want to live but are in constant fear. Our children who aren’t even aware of the dangers ahead every time they leave the house simply because of the color of their skin!  You would walk around looking pissed off too if the Black experience was your damn reality every time you left the house. 

www.therealCherie.com

MY CAREER IS ONLY BROUGHT UP IN ARGUMENTS WHEN…

My career is only brought up in arguments when…

They felt threatened by me.

They have jealousy issues.

They felt inferior.

They were never my real friend.

There’s something strange about trying to have a friendship of any sort as an entertainer. You never really know where you stand with people until they don’t receive the reaction from you that they want! Then, the cat’s out of the bag. Instead of attacking my character as a person, they attack the characters I played. (The f@$k)

All of a sudden Ima washed up child star or they ain’t my groupie. Ain’t my groupie, wtf? This is when I am able to laugh. I can’t even be upset anymore or carry out any sort of debate or arguments, it’s over. The greatest gift life has given me is turning off my emotions. Because at that point the argument is no longer about me as a person, it’s about the way they have felt about me from the beginning. 9 outa 10, if they weren’t a fan of my career, they wouldn’t have been my friend in the first place. 

One thing about me, is my career choice has never defined me as a person and it’s not my daily thought, but obviously it is for them. These are not insults, nor do they hurt my feelings. Attacking my career is like attacking my shoes. It’s just a tool I wear to get me where I want to be.

That stands for everyone. Your career is your paycheck and anyone bringing up your means of livelihood in an argument, the real issue ain’t you! It’s them. 

I can guarantee you they ain’t happy with their life path or the reflection they see in the mirror. In life people have two choices: they can either be your co-stars or your audience… GO Shine! 

www.therealCherie.com

MY BUSINESS ISN’T ON SOCIAL MEDIA, MY PERSONALITY IS…

It’s simple. I post things that make me laugh. I post things that entertain me. I post things to provoke thought. I entertain myself. 

My page is public, and my real friends do not contact me on social media for conversation. They call or text my phone. Social media for me is a way to connect with friends I don’t know personally who have grown up with me. It’s a way for me to let you know what I am doing now and have a conversation. It’s a way to connect, have fun, share a laugh or a few words of encouragement. 

I have never invited the public into my home, so you better believe you aint gonna learn nothing good to gossip about me from my post. I’m just here for shits and giggles only. 

Not for you to know my family. WHY you ask? Cuz yall crazy!! While there are some champions, most of you just need something or someone to talk about so why would I offer up my kids and my man? Social media is a human trafficker’s playground. Social media is a cesspool of negativity that I refuse to welcome into my life. Social media is social and honestly, I only pretend to be. 

This chapter of my life is reserved and pretty closed off, the way I have become with age. My most precious moments do not make social media. Even though it’s the culture to share what we drive, every meal, who we are with, I choose to keep some things for myself, and it’s okay if you do too.

Not in a rude way but just because you read my stuff doesn’t mean you know my business, boo.

THIS IS 45 YEARS OLD!

This is 45 years old! Don’t get caught up on a number. It makes me sad when I hear women and men depressed about their birthdays coming! I have loved my 40s. My 40s have been liberating! I have finally stopped worrying about pleasing other people and I please myself! I no longer say “yes” I will do it… when I mean, I don’t want too! I don’t care who doesn’t like me or who said what about me. It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t pay my bills nor change my tomorrow. In fact, the ones who used to run back to tell me what they said are no longer around me because why were they listening! 

Now that I am midway settled into my 40s, I realize some lessons have come with my 40s. I want to share 20 with you.

1. Make it a priority to love yourself! 

2. Don’t hold grudges, they end up hurting you more than the other people.

3. Travel and enjoy your life. See as much as you can.

4. If you want to do it, do it! Stop second guessing yourself.

5. Learn to trust your gut.

6. Spend as much time with your parents as you can.

7. Be vulnerable (don’t let your past hurt your future).

8. Make time for yourself.

9. Make memories, when life is over that’s all you have.

10. Stop worrying about the end result and enjoy the journey. 

11. Drink your water.

12. Stand up for yourself, don’t tolerate disrespect no matter who it’s from.

13. Never stop learning.

14. Listen more.

15. Let the ego go.

16. If your life isn’t where you want it to be, change your circle.

17.  Only spend time and energy on people who feed your soul.

18. Don’t save the good outfits, the good champagne. Enjoy them on any occasion!!

19. Eat your fruits and vegetables.

20. Happiness is a choice!

Enjoy your 40s! They really are fabulous and so are you! 

REPOST: AT AGE 30, THESE WERE THE RULES THAT I SET FOR MY LIFE

This time of the year, people begin to reflect on how they want their lives to look and what changes need to made. Here’s a post about the rules I once made for myself.

***

When I turned 30, I made a new list of rules for myself.

  1. No more letting people borrow money that they never pay back!
  2. No more paying for women to have abortions! 
  3. No more accepting collect calls!
  4. No more taking care of other people’s children!
  5. No more feeling guilty and doing things I don’t want to do!
  6. No more going places because other people want me to go!
  7. No more meeting people’s families so they can prove they know me!
  8. I was tired of being the birthday clown. (Yes, people ask for you to come over like I’m a birthday present to someone.  It’s weird)!
  9. No more fake friends.  I’d rather spend my days alone!
  10. No more dating groupies (male groupies are just as bad as women)!
  11. No more driving people around like I’m a taxi!
  12. And last but not least, no more putting other people’s needs in front of my own!

I received an inspirational text from my friend Keeland Ellis that I will never forget. He told me, “Have no friends who do not equal you. Watch those that you don’t know who are always wanting to be with you, and those who are wanting to be like you!”

I wish he would have told me this straight out of high school but he told me on time because not only did I hear every word of it, but I understand it now so I guess that’s an example of God’s time.

I’M NOT SATISFIED!

When I say this many people around me take it wrong, they think I’m not happy. I am very happy, but I am one of those people who is not satisfied or willing to settle in my life. I don’t know that I will ever be satisfied. There are 1000 things I have yet to accomplish. Yes, my list is long, I have goals and aspirations I’ve yet to even explore.

Satisfied Vs. Happy

Happiness is a state of mind, while satisfaction is the absence of want.

Now material things don’t satisfy me, and they are not my goal. I get off accomplishing my dreams. People try to tell me I’ve accomplished enough. They constantly remind me of my past, while I appreciate my journey and the fact it’s remembered, the point they missed it’s not about what anyone else thinks or feels about me. It’s what I have personally lined up for myself in my head. Entertainment is not my only goal, believe it or not, there is more to me. I understand most of you know my characters, but you don’t know my character.  I dream bigger than the smoke and mirrors of Hollywood.

I’m attracted to ambition and accomplishing things I put on my to do list! I get a high manifesting my future. See, I realized early in my life I control my destiny and no other soul can stop me from my goals but me.

Some people don’t achieve their goals because they are surrounded by people who never completed theirs. The easiest way for me to get ghost on someone is for them to doubt me, not be ambitious themselves or for them to be complacent.

They say you become the closest 5 people to you. With that said, I purged a lot of people. I refuse to be the smartest in the room. I surround myself with people who are able to teach me something. People who add to my life, people who breath energy into me. We all need to find those types… Dream big people, your thoughts become realities!

MY FRIEND TURNED PAPARAZZI

Living in the entertainment world is definitely a weird, outside the box, interesting one for sure. And it’s not always fun! You never really know what your friendships will lead to or what the intent of them were.

14 years ago, I met this young cute girl who is in the same rat race as many in Los Angeles trying to break into entertainment. Well, she got a break…and as a black woman I am proud of her and cheering her on because there are not a lot of jobs for us in Hollywood. 

While our friendship was not paying her bills, I can’t help but to feel betrayed not just for me but for so many that I know that she associates with. She took a job as paparazzi! 

While I understand that her friendships are not paying her bills…and I get it, girl get your money especially during Covid, it’s deeply concerning to watch her talk about people that I love!  I know she’s coming in contact with these people. That’s so messy. 

The truth is history repeats itself and it’s probably only a matter of time before one of my stories are up and then what’s going to happen? Those 14 years of friendship, will they be used against me? Will you deliver the story that was assigned to you or you might even break it? Will my daughter’s identity now be disclosed for a paycheck?  Again, I get it…it’s a job. We all need to pay our bills but please know I’m not speaking for myself; I’m speaking for a group of us. We are uncomfortable and feeling betrayed. 

Tables always turn so while you’re talking about somebody’s messy divorce today, it could be your family that they’re talking about tomorrow … No new friends (in my Drake voice).

www.TeamCherieJ.com

OWN YOUR NAME

Little Cherie had a hard time understanding why people couldn’t get her name right! The constantly correcting people gave her the tag line when introducing herself, “like the fruit,” which has stuck with her 45 years. 

“Like the fruit,” says Kellie Williams Jackson. Her a recent interview on Cherie’s World Podcast has me cracking up! It’s become so second nature I no longer even think about it.

Sidebar (Yes, I often talk about myself in 1st, 2nd and 3rd person. Hope you can follow) 

The description Black Cherie is one I take pride in. May-August is Cherry Season. Which makes sense as to why summer has always been my favorite time of the year! Cherry is a natural healer full of vitamins. Which explains my Fixer Empath energy. 

Black Cherries

Your name is more than just your identification, it becomes a part of who you are and the characteristics you possess. 

Everyone out there with unique names, enjoy living outside the box, not worrying about mixing up your drinks at Starbucks. Correct them EVERY TIME until they get it right! It’s scientifically proven when you introduce yourself people will remember the unique names easier than they remember the common ones. So, enjoy life being unforgettable, and give them something to remember! 

I DO NOT OWN A SCALE!

I threw my scale in the trash 10 years ago. Having a scale in my bathroom was one of those extra accessories I no longer needed. 

I had these 2 aunts that would walk into my Mom’s house and before they would say hello, they would say, “Wow, you must be eating good…” “Those cheeks are extra chubby, aren’t they?” Then they would giggle amongst themselves about how big my face, my boobs or whatever their subject of the moment was. (Their extreme cattiness got on my nerves and gave me anxiety.) Until I got grown and realized I wasn’t the problem, they were! They were extremely unhappy with themselves and constantly trying to improve themselves and would talk about everyone they came in contact with. Not my issue, it was their own. 

Yes, like most women my weight fluctuates 10 pounds here or there depending on time of the month or how much ice cream I’ve eaten and there is NOTHING wrong with that! 

One day I got on the scale looked down and then up and said, “Cherie what are you doing? Your jeans fit. Maybe tight, maybe a little loose, but they fit regardless!” 

Yes, I was talking to myself in 3rd person. I’ve never been overweight. Maybe a little chubby, maybe a little too thin, but I remain healthy and that’s what matters most. Backhand compliments from others about my weight would never make me step on one of these things daily again. 

Weight is NOT one size fits all! Weight is about health! Everyone is not supposed to be thin, buxom is beautiful. 

The goal should never be a number, it should be your health. The number is different for everyone. I am a nutritionist. Trust my word more than the Hollywood tabloids, your gossiping aunties or any other superficial, unprofessional opinions. 

Obsessing over the number on the scale is unhealthy.

www.TeamCherieJ.com