THE ART OF GROWING CURLY, KINKY, COILY HAIR

I cringe every time I hear someone say good hair. It really pisses me off. Black people have such a stigma about hair.  It makes me sick! All hair is good hair, and every hair texture has the ability to grow. Anything you water will grow. Depending on the products you use and your environment, bi-weekly washing may not be too much. Also, please be mindful of the products you use on your little loves.

When you put something on your skin and scalp it absorbs into your blood stream in 26 seconds! Why would I ever put anything on my daughter I couldn’t pronounce?

My biggest no, no is using petroleum-based products on a child’s scalp. It clogs their pores. I grew up in an era where greasing the scalp was something black folks believed in. This is the root of why some women battle their hair growth today. Sure, for the moment it looks good but after years it is the root of hair follicles being clogged. Say “no” to grease and hello to natural oils!

Here are 3 hair care tips:

  1. Natural shampoo is key. Babies’ hair is fine and has a hard time holding up against shampoo with alcohol in it. Alcohol dries and strips the hair, NOT washes. Water is the best hydration in the world.
  2. MOISTURE, MOISTURE, MOISTURE. Use a leave in conditioner that is water based. Water is the best moisture there is. This summer we spent a lot of time in the pool and my daughter’s hair started to feel little dry.  Every night I started spritzing it with water and reapplying oil and conditioner to seal the hair.
  3. I also deep condition it monthly! I love Queen Helen’s cholesterol. I’m guilty of being old school and still putting a treatment in not just my hair, but also my daughter’s. Do not overdo the cholesterol because it will dry out your hair.

Every day when I comb her hair, I spray it with water first to help detangle. I section it off and I start combing at the bottom and work my way up.

I apply leave-in conditioner and put it in a protective style. I do not braid tight around her edges or pull the hair too hard.

Healthy hair starts from the inside out so eating a well-balanced diet full of fruits and vegetables is key.

Another important key to growing long hair is the less manipulation the better. I happen to prefer twisting her ponytails over braiding them because I feel it stays moisturized longer. When I do braid, I make sure not to braid tightly. And her braids DO NOT STAY IN MORE THAN A DAY. That’s right, I comb her hair daily. I also do not add synthetic hair in her braids. Synthetic hair tends to cut into our natural tresses and break it off!

You can also check out my line of hair products here: https://therealcherie.com/collections/wild-cherry-hair-products

ALL MONEY AINT GOOD MONEY!

There is a man that I know, who honestly has been tryna get at me for many, many years. We just never clicked. I am in no way attracted to his personality, but we have made money together. 6 figure money a few times. So, every so often when I hear from him, I respond. Now, he’s been in my text thread heavily for the past month. He texted me yesterday and asked if I would call him. He had a branding opportunity for me. I didn’t listen to my gut and I called anyway because…Hell, it’s about money. 

I called him all chipper, “Hey, what you got good?” I asked him.

“I have this cosmetic company in South Africa looking for a named talent to be the face of a new makeup line,” he says.

“Makeup really isn’t my thing, (I have sensitive skin.) but what’s the details?” I asked.

With hesitation in his voice, he says, “It contains a special component”.

My mind is racing. I’m thinking, oh anti-aging or something. Curious now I say, “What component does it contain?”

“Skin lightening agents,” he said non confident.

” WTF You just say?” I asked.

He had the nerve to repeat himself.

“WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD BE OKAY SELLING SOMETHING TO LIGHTEN THE SKIN OF BLACK WOMEN?” I screamed. (I wanted to make sure he heard me).

“Just hear me out… there is a lot of money on the table, and you don’t want to pass this opportunity up!” He tells me.

“I can’t believe your ass was dumb enough to even call me with this bullshit! What kinda self-hating mothafucka are you?” I screamed.

“Why do I have to be self-hating?” he asked.

“As a Black man, you thought it was a good idea to come at me with this? I asked him.

“These White boys are ready to spend big money. Calm down and remove your ego! They really feel this will be big,” he said to me.

“My ego has nothing to do with this; it has everything to do with my morals. I am a Black woman who loves herself…” 

“Well, I have this cannabis deal…” he says.

“I don’t smoke and I’m on a kid show.” I cut him off quickly and screamed.

Long story short, I have followers who always say I shouldn’t curse and I don’t want the kids reading exactly what came out of my mouth after that, but I called him every damn self-hating coon I could think of. I was completely taken back why a deep chocolate Black man with a whole African name would think it was okay to even come at me with a proposition like this. They say you attract everything that comes to you.

Then, I got even more pissed because it’s a company owned by White people and they got a 53-year-old coon volunteering to go do their dirty work and for the love of money, he was okay with presenting this to me like it was no big deal… Our own are the ones who sell us out STILL IN HUMAN TRAFFICKING TODAY.

Then, I laughed, and I said to him, “You always asked me why I wouldn’t marry you. This right here is why,” I yelled.

He said, “I’ve only been chasing you for 15 years.”

(Can’t say exactly what I said after that, I’m pretty sure it would be considered bullying.) 

For a woman to marry a man, she has to believe he will make choices in their best interest and you would sell me for a dollar. I could NEVER trust you to make any choice in my best interest. I hung up.

Sad thing is that someone else will bite. He will find another Black entertainer who will be all for it because they need the money and that’s what breaks my heart most.

All opportunities aren’t good opportunities. When someone shows you that they feel your morals can be easily switched by the almighty dollar: RUN! 

I’VE NEVER BEEN PRESSED ON MONEY. I am the same with my pockets full as I am with them empty. Money has never waived my morals and I stay clear of those who worship paper over the best interests of anyone. So, DNA went in my phone where his name was. DO NOT ANSWER! I’m getting better at it, as the years go on. He shoulda stuck with doing real estate with me, period.

I Don’t Know Why I Still Allow People To Shock Me, but I’m still Pissed off! Sistas, don’t give any man the power to persuade you to do anything because money is involved. Value yourself and know everything that comes to you, aint for you! When you know your worth, you NEVER have to settle. 

THE ORIGINAL BLOW-OUT

Let’s face it: post-Covid, we will all be looking at birthday cake a little differently. Well, a product was sent to me that will get things back to normal. It’s called The Original Blow-Out!  

It’s clinically tested to prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses. In fact, it stops the spread of 99.78% of germs! No more spitting on cakes. We will be celebrating my daughter’s birthday safely with The Original Blow-Out!

The best part is they are totally affordable and come in a bunch of different colors! So, no matter what theme she picks, we can get a Blow-Out to match. If you are interested in buying The Original Blow-Out, click the link below.

GINGERBREAD HOUSE

I remember my grandfather telling me that in the 1800s people started making gingerbread houses in Germany and the tradition came to America with Pennsylvanian German immigrants. I am originally from Duquesne, Pennsylvania, though we are not German, it was a little history lesson I will never forget. Also, one I was happy to share with my daughter at such a young age.

Unfortunately, my grandfather passed in July of 1993, but his memory lives on forever. My daughter and I have made it a tradition every December 9th (his birthday) to make a gingerbread house together in honor of my grandfather Warren Albert Johnson.

My daughter looks forward to making gingerbread houses. Every year we turn on Christmas music, and lay everything out on the table. I am not going to lie every time I try to make fresh gingerbread; we end up eating it. LOL, it doesn’t last long enough to make anything out of it. So, I buy gingerbread kits from the store. You can buy easy gingerbread kits at Five Below, Walmart or even Target. They’re usually under $20.

When I pull it out, she ends up eating more candy than ever goes on the house, but it definitely makes her happy. It’s also a great memory making craft and a time where I share stories about her Great Grandpa.

GIFT GIVING ANXIETY

So, I really thought that I was the only person in the world who has anxiety about giving gifts! At 44 years old, it was time to get to the cause of anxiety. I am so OVER it! Like this is supposed to be a fun experience! Although I do not love shopping honestly, I just rather be doing other things. Holidays are not supposed to bring me stress and anxiety. I am going to enjoy myself this year! No matter what. Then I started trying to rack my brain about the root of the problem as I made my holiday shopping list. It all became perfectly clear. For the first time ever, it made perfect sense to me. I realized it’s only certain people that cause me anxiety…WOMEN! 

I love shopping for children and men. They are super easy, and I always get to buy them really fun, easy things that make them laugh and they treasure! Men tend to be much more appreciative!  Especially with the little things in life, it doesn’t take much to make them happy. Socks, food, a game to play and they are set. The power of new underwear is majorly unrecognized by the masses. Also, if you ask a man what do you want or need, they tend to answer you! Ask a woman the same thing: either you get an unrealistic answer or none at all! I am to the point now that I won’t even bother to ask anymore.

This upcoming holiday season I am saying goodbye to my gift giving anxiety! Ima keep it simple and remove the emotions about making the right choices for someone else! It doesn’t matter what I would love for them to have or what I think would look nice on them. I aint racking my brain to buy them anything. It’s just not worth the unnecessary stress. If Covid has taught me nothing else, it taught me to let go of shit I can’t control.

Yes, a gift card / cash some think are not personal enough, BUT I don’t have to worry about if they like it or NOT, because those difficult people are going to pick it out themselves! Easy peasy for my mental health! Ladies, here go shopping. It’s a win, win for all parties involved! 

IT’S COQUITO TIME!

As I walked through the grocery store, I got excited when I saw eggnog loaded on the shelves. Not to disrespect my beloved “coquito,” but America likes to compare it to eggnog. In my opinion, coquito is the much better tasting cousin! Coquito is a traditional food that all Puerto Ricans hold close to their hearts. Growing up it is associated with Holidays, Love and Family. Coquito translated means “little coconut”. It is best enjoyed super cold. Here is how we make it in my house. If you are serving children or people who don’t drink, simply leave out the rum.

1 (12 oz) can evaporated milk

1 (14 oz) can sweetened condensed milk

2 cups (1 15 oz can) cream of coconut

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1 tsp vanilla

**1 1/2 cup white rum (must be white I prefer Bacardi of course)

cinnamon sticks for garnish

I suggest 1 1/2 cups of white rum. If that sounds like too much, start with 1 cup and add more to taste. I like to add just enough rum that it’s prickly on the back of your throat and warms you on the inside. It will be one of the few drinks you’ll have that is cold that warms you up. Just be careful because the flavor of the rum gets stronger the longer the drink “marinates”. LOL. If you have a family like mine, it could be the gift that keeps giving. Abuela once told me that egg yolk came from the white American tradition of eggnog, so some Rican’s have welcomed it into their coquito. I stick to my original roots, so I am part of the NO egg yolk camp! Debate amongst yourself and enjoy.

PUMPKIN NICE CREAM

Yes, I am one of those people who looks forward to fall all year long because I like all the seasonal pumpkin treats! While I can see Shawn Harrison (My Wally pop) rolling his eyes at me now out of disgust. He hates pumpkin and I should be ashamed but that fact that he hates it makes me enjoy it just a little more. LOL.

My daughter loves Pumpkin Nice Cream, so I make a big batch and keep extra in the freezer. It only takes like 3 minutes to make, so it’s the perfect last thought dessert.

5-6 frozen bananas

1 15-oz can of organic pumpkin puree (I remove from the can and freeze overnight beforehand)

1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 tsp of vanilla extra

6 pitted medjool dates (if you want it sweeter, freeze beforehand)

If you do not freeze ingredients beforehand:

Blend the pumpkin, spices, vanilla extract and dates until smooth.

Transfer to a shallow pan and freeze overnight.

If they are already frozen:

Break apart pumpkin mixture and add to the blender/food processor with frozen bananas. Blend until smooth and creamy.

Eat immediately as soft serve, freeze for 2-3 hours for a scoopable ice cream. You can keep leftovers in the freezer for up to 3 days.

Visit An Apple Orchard

Visiting an apple orchard is the perfect fall field trip for homeschoolers. I love our local orchard because I always call ahead and they let me know which days have been the busiest and if they have special activities going on that day. Most importantly, they let me know whether the snack bar will be open or not. 🙂

If you are planning your first visit to an orchard, it’s important to bring baby wipes, hand sanitizer, and water. Also, pack a light snack (if there is no snack bar). Depending on how much walking you do. your kiddos may get tired. I make sure to also put rubber rainbows on me and my little one in case it’s a bit muddy out there, and I leave a trash bag in the back of my trunk just to put our boots in or on so my truck stays mud-free.

Even if you are not a homeschooler, this field trip is a great opportunity to make it a hands-on learning lesson. My daughter really enjoyed reading the book Apple Picking Day by Candice Ranson, before we went for the first time. We also picked Great Grandma’s apple pie recipe to make for dessert after our trip. 

We also had a conversation before we went about only picking as many apples as we could eat. It’s important to explain to kids not to be wasteful. It’s exciting to pick apples, but it’s not kind to pick fruit that will just go to waste later.

When picking apples, it’s important teach children to pick them correctly. You don’t just pull the apple down and off you roll it in a circle and try to leave the stem on it so it will last longer. Apples on the outside of the tree ripen first, so choose from the outside in.

Charge your cell phones and remember life is about moments, so make great memories. <3

#FBF: MY TOP 5 POSTS OF ALL TIME

Happy Friday and Thank You Sooo Much to all of our loyal and new AFMS readers. I truly appreciate you. For those of you who are new around here, I thought it would be fun to revisit our TOP 5 Blogs to date. Enjoy reading or (re-reading) these posts, and then come on over to Instagram and let me know what you think.

Let’s count them down!

# 5: 10 THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME

#4: AN OPEN LETTER TO OUR PUNKY FRIENDS <3

#3: GRATEFUL

#2: HAIR GROWTH TIPS (Note: Products are now available at https://therealcherie.com)

#1: I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE COUNTED A CALORIE!

Thank you, again, for your support. I’ll see you on Monday with an all-new post.

Love,

Cherie

IT’S MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

Below is a repost from March 2019 regarding self-esteem in children.

THE 3 BIGGEST INFLUENCES ON YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM

Family

The family is widely seen as an important influence on self-esteem because it is where the initial sense of oneself is formed. Children with self-esteem difficulties have absorbed what parents and others have negatively said about them. As they begin to define themselves in light of their low sense of self, they may undertake the view that they are different from their peers and siblings. Although at times children may not be aware that they are different, they know they feel awkward and inept when compared to others, particularly higher achieving siblings. The effects of low self-esteem can be reflected outward toward siblings and parents through verbal or physical expression. Their inner tension and shame can lead them to act out in various ways, ranging from emotional and physical withdrawal to aggressive and combative outward behaviors.

School 

Children with low self-esteem appear hesitant and uncomfortable in the classroom. They tend to only answer direct questions and prefer to keep their opinions to themselves because they fear others’ reactions. Guarded behaviors and minimal interactions with other classmates lessen their social impact on others, which reinforces their belief of having nothing to offer others.

Community

Children or individuals with low self-esteem hesitate when interacting with groups of neighborhood kids or joining social activities, such as parties or games. They generally wait to be invited to play or join others, but then only participate minimally when they agree to play. Their guardedness and self-doubt hold them back from fully interacting with others, again reinforcing their negative self-image.