Let me keep it real. I see all these debates on the internet and laugh. “Who eats first your man or your child?” In my house children eat before anyone, PERIOD. If you have a problem with it, IDGAF because you are not invited over anyway.
“Where do I season my chicken?” The same place I wash it…yes, I wash off my chicken in the sink. (From reading the comments, I learned a lot of people don’t wash off their food, period.) So, IDGAF if you have an issue with that because you aren’t invited to my house anyway!
Bagged salad keeps giving people salmonella. Forgive me for laughing but again there are people who do not wash it. Pour it out the bag into the strainer with a lil vinegar and water and you will be okay. If you don’t wash your bagged lettuce, NO BIGGIE TO ME BECAUSE I AINT COMING TO YOUR HOUSE TO EAT IT!
I am saying all this because it amazes me how we are so tied up emotionally about what other people are doing in their houses. We spend time on this when we could be productive instead of having senseless debates nobody is capitalizing on. WTF are we doing wasting time on social media all day, people? I post once or twice a day that’s it…I can’t take ya’ll serious or give you too much of my time.
Going back to, “I don’t mind making you a plate because I don’t want you in my kitchen,” is a broad statement. I will give the public what I want them to have then I close the door and my life is mine. Everyone doesn’t deserve free range, folks. In 2020, save a little of yourself for yourself and see how much more energetic you are…
Family meals are a comforting ritual for both parents and kids. Children like the predictability of family meals and parents get a chance to catch up with their kids. Kids who take part in regular family meals are also:
- More likely to eat fruits, vegetables, and grains
- Less likely to snack on unhealthy foods
- Less likely to smoke, use marijuana, or drink alcohol
In addition, family meals offer the chance to introduce your child to new foods and find out which foods your child likes and which ones he or she doesn’t.
Teens may turn up their noses at the prospect of a family meal – not surprising because they’re trying to establish independence. Yet, studies find that teens still want their parents’ advice and counsel, so use mealtime as a chance to reconnect. Also, consider trying these strategies:
- Allow your teen to invite a friend to dinner.
- Involve your teen in meal planning and preparation.
- Keep mealtime calm and congenial – no lectures or arguing.
What counts as a family meal? Any time you and your family eat together – whether it’s takeout food or a home-cooked meal with all the trimmings. Strive for nutritious food and a time when everyone can be there. This may mean eating dinner a little later to accommodate a child who’s at sports practice. It can also mean setting aside time on the weekends, such as Sunday brunch, when it may be more convenient to gather as a group.
Let’s touch on the topic of fast food. This used to be a treat, now for many it has become a way of life. How did we get so lazy that we would rather go through a drive thru than cook our kids a real meal? I have yet to patron a fast food restaurant that serves a side of broccoli with the kid’s meal. Children need to eat a well-balanced meal since they are growing. It is our job as parents to make sure we keep them as healthy as we can. Do you know food also works with the immune system? If your child gets a cold every time they go outside, maybe you need to change their diet.
When our kids eat refined sugars, such as cookies, sweets, white bread and pop, the food is broken down into glucose. Due to the lack of fiber in these food items, they enter the bloodstream in the form of sugar at a rush speed. Research shows that only 7% of children consume the recommended three to five servings of vegetables and two or more servings of fruit daily. Unfortunately, due to poor nutrition and inactivity, the rate of childhood illnesses such as allergies, obesity, attention-deficit disorder and ear infections are rising dramatically.
If I ever feel down or need to run away, a perfect quick fix for me is a walk. It can be around my neighborhood, through a park or even around the building at Kian Spa. I set aside at least 20 minutes and do nothing but walk.
Sometimes, I take my daughter when the weather is nice. It’s a great way to start our day. Morning walks for me and most of the time, she’s on her scooter or her bike. It’s a great time to bond. She is only 4 years old but has a clear understanding of her desires and she will let you know if you’re willing to listen. I tend to leave the cell phone at home so our walks are uninterrupted and as peaceful as can be. Since we moved from Los Angeles, I get to take in clean air, appreciate the greenery and the homes around me, while smiling and waving to neighbors.
As I walk, I pay attention to my breathing, the smells, the things I hear and how the air feels on my face. I look around and it helps me realize how many things I am truly grateful for. It reminds me how lucky I am to even have air in my lungs, making my life possible.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our routine that we don’t take the time to simply look around us and be grateful! I never want to get so wrapped up that I forget as long as my family is safe, everyone woke up this morning and my daughter is fed that I am winning. My family is winning.
Gratitude is everything. Did you know it can also strengthen your immune system, better your sleep and focus?
The family is widely seen as an important influence on self-esteem because it is where the initial sense of oneself is formed. Children with self-esteem difficulties have absorbed what parents and others have negatively said about them. As they begin to define themselves in light of their low sense of self, they may undertake the view that they are different from their peers and siblings. Although at times children may not be aware that they are different, they know they feel awkward and inept when compared to others, particularly higher achieving siblings. The effects of low self-esteem can be reflected outward toward siblings and parents through verbal or physical expression. Their inner tension and shame can lead them to act out in various ways, ranging from emotional and physical withdrawal to aggressive and combative outward behaviors.
Children with low self-esteem appear hesitant and uncomfortable in the classroom. They tend to only answer direct questions and prefer to keep their opinions to themselves because they fear others’ reactions. Guarded behaviors and minimal interactions with other classmates lessen their social impact on others, which reinforces their belief of having nothing to offer others.
Children or individuals with low self-esteem hesitate when interacting with groups of neighborhood kids or joining social activities, such as parties or games. They generally wait to be invited to play or join others, but then only participate minimally when they agree to play. Their guardedness and self-doubt hold them back from fully interacting with others, again reinforcing their negative self-image.
Kids, especially younger ones, will eat mostly what’s available at home. That’s why it’s important to control the supply lines – the foods that you serve for meals and have on hand for snacks. Follow these basic guidelines:
- Work fruits and vegetables into the daily routine, aiming for the goal of 5 servings a day.
- Make it easy for your child to choose healthy snacks by keeping fruits and vegetables on hand and ready to eat. Other good snacks include yogurt, peanut butter and celery, or whole-grain crackers and cheese.
- Serve lean meats and other good sources of protein, such as eggs and nuts.
- Choose whole-grain breads and cereals so your child gets more fiber. (No Wonder Bread and Cocoa Pebbles.)
- Limit fat intake by avoiding deep-fried foods and choosing healthier cooking methods such as broiling, grilling, roasting, and steaming (bake chicken and pork chops).
- Limit fast food and other low-nutrient snacks, such as chips and candy. But don’t completely ban favorite snacks from your home. Instead, make them “once-in-a-while” foods, so your child doesn’t feel deprived. Limit sugary drinks, such as soda, Kool-Aid, Tang and other fruit-flavored drinks. Serve water and milk instead.
Okay, women, I have to ask, “What are you feeding your families?” You are what you eat!!!!! Do you remember that old saying? Look at the food you are putting into your child’s mouth. French fries and chicken nuggets are saturated in grease. Grease and water do not mix right? Think of your blood like water. When grease is put into your system it doesn’t dissolve, it gets stuck on the walls of your arteries. That can lead to your heart causing your arteries to build up film and eventually clog, just like a pipe in the sink with too much grease in it. This causes heart attacks. You won’t put grease down your sink, why? It will clog the pipes right, but yet, you will put it in your body. As if there are no pipes to clog inside of you. What about your arteries? You need to think of them as pipes. The pipes down the sink you can replace, the ones in your chest you are stuck with for life.
I can’t front, I was raised on the same food as you but now I’m an adult. I looked around at my forefather’s and analyzed why they passed away: cancer, heart attack, high blood pressure, sugar diabetes. It’s in my bloodline, so I have to be smarter. I have to take their mistakes as a learning experience and not pass those poor eating habits on to my child. Not saying I’m going to cut soul food out of my life but learn how to cook it a different way and have a variety of different foods.
Teach your children that salads can be a meal. I am amazed at the number of black people who honestly don’t eat salad. In fact, there are a lot out there that have never even had one. Also, why are we so quick to take a laxative instead of eating foods that are high in fiber that would keep us regular? We all know the saying an apple a day keeps the doctor away. They say that because the skin from the apple scrapes the intestinal lining as it goes down in our system, pulling away any build-up and helping the colon to remove it from our system.
Come detox with us!
Oh, I remember when I was pregnant it was such a big deal to me packing my hospital bag and checking it 10 times to have everything I thought I needed. I watched every YouTube video I could find to see what other moms-to-be had packed. Long story short, most of the stuff in my bag, I never used! (Just like when I go on vacation.)
The best advice I got when packing my bag came from my friend Jenn. She said, “Girl, forget packing underwear or trying to keep the mesh ones they have at the hospital. Instead, try some Depends and put your pads inside of them. That way when you bleed on them, NO BIG DEAL, just throw them away!” Even the nurses at the hospital thought it was great advice. They had never seen anyone wear them before but it was comfortable and I didn’t have to worry about leaking on the sheets or messing up my clothes. They kept me from overheating and sweating down there and didn’t hurt the staples and stitches from my c-section. I also brought my own pajamas! Between those Depends and pajamas, I was a happy camper during my 4 day hospital stay!
Okay, I have a question. Am I the only one who feels it’s morally right to let people know when your battling mental health issues?
We need to talk more openly and honestly about mental health and breaking down the stigmas…
1 out of 5 adults, that’s 43.8 million people in the United States, are suffering from mental health issues. An estimated 26% of homeless adults staying in shelters live with serious mental illness
Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel and act, as we cope with life. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.
Depression, anxiety, bipolar and schizophrenia are just a few mental health issues people suffer from.
So, in one way or another, we have all encountered people who are battling mental health issues. I myself found myself in a friendship where I didn’t understand the drama until the friendship blew up and turned bad… very bad but all could have been avoided if I would have known my friend was bipolar!
I’m not saying I wouldn’t have been friends with her if I would have known she was battling a real disorder. What I am saying is, I would have handled things a lot differently from the start if I would have known she was clinical. Now things are too far gone to salvage the friendship. I choose to keep my distance, but understanding the real issue made it easy to forgive and wish her well…
When you battle mental health issues, it doesn’t just affect you but everyone you choose to bring in your life!
I cringe every time I hear someone say good hair. It really pisses me off. Black people have such a stigma about hair. It makes me sick! All hair is good hair, and every hair texture has the ability to grow. Anything you water will grow. Depending on the products you use and your environment, bi-weekly washing may not be too much. Also, please be mindful of the products you use on your little loves.
When you put something on your skin and scalp it absorbs into your blood stream in 26 seconds! Why would I ever put anything on my daughter I couldn’t pronounce?
My biggest no, no is using petroleum-based products on a child’s scalp. It clogs their pores. I grew up in an era where greasing the scalp was something black folks believed in. This is the root of why some women battle their hair growth today. Sure, for the moment it looks good but after years it is the root of hair follicles being clogged. Say “no” to grease and hello to natural oils!
Here are 3 hair care tips:
- Natural shampoo is key. Babies’ hair is fine and has a hard time holding up against shampoo with alcohol in it. Alcohol dries and strips the hair, NOT washes. Water is the best hydration in the world.
- MOISTURE, MOISTURE, MOISTURE. Use a leave in conditioner that is water based. Water is the best moisture there is. This summer we spent a lot of time in the pool and my daughter’s hair started to feel little dry. Every night I started spritzing it with water and reapplying oil and conditioner to seal the hair.
- I also deep condition it monthly! I love Queen Helen’s cholesterol. I’m guilty of being old school and still putting a treatment in not just my hair, but also my daughter’s. Do not overdo the cholesterol because it will dry out your hair.
Every day when I comb her hair, I spray it with water first to help detangle. I section it off and I start combing at the bottom and work my way up.
I apply leave-in conditioner and put it in a protective style. I do not braid tight around her edges or pull the hair too hard.
Healthy hair starts from the inside out so eating a well-balanced diet full of fruits and vegetables is key.
Another important key to growing long hair is the less manipulation the better. I happen to prefer twisting her ponytails over braiding them because I feel it stays moisturized longer. When I do braid, I make sure not to braid tightly. And her braids DO NOT STAY IN MORE THAN A DAY. That’s right, I comb her hair daily. I also do not add synthetic hair in her braids. Synthetic hair tends to cut into our natural tresses and break it off!