It is important early on to teach your child that they are entitled to have their own personal comfort zone that is not to be crossed. We teach our children not to trust strangers but force our children to hug and kiss people we know because we think it’s cute. Children should have the right to choose whom they hug and kiss from day one. Do not force your child into going near a person they don’t naturally gravitate going to. It’s not important how it makes the adult feel, it’s more important that the child is comfortable. We teach our children lessons in many different ways. Personal space is one lesson early on where a child should get to choose their feelings over someone else’s. Children need to be taught that they are the most important person in their life and in yours.
Living in the United States today, there are 39 million adults who survived child sexual abuse. More than 3 million children are victims. If those numbers are not crazy enough, it is a proven fact that 95% of child molestation can be prevented. Most people think, “not in my family,” but that’s where you are wrong.
Most children don’t tell because they are protecting their abuser because he or she is a part of the family. Children also have a way of protecting people they love from pain, so sometimes they don’t tell because they would rather carry the weight than watch someone else feel pain for what they are going through.
It is estimated that 1 in 20 teenage boys and adult men sexually abuse children. 1 teenage girl or adult woman in every 3,300 females molests children. The numbers add up to be 15 out of every 100 Americans who have been either a molested child or a molester.
Some people will say that sexually touching a child does no harm. Some adults will even tell boy victims to “act like a man” and “stop whining.” Other adults are unsympathetic about the experiences of adult survivors. They will say that, no matter what happened in childhood, that is the past. You’re an adult now, so get over it.
The facts are that sexual abuse does harm the child and that the damage often carries over into the child’s adult life.
Studies show that this damage can include: difficulty in forming long-term relationships, sexual risk-taking that may lead to contracting sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS; physical complaints and physical symptoms, depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide, links to failure of the immune system and to increases in illnesses, hospitalizations, and early deaths.
In addition to the tangible physical and emotional damage that sexual abuse does to the child, that terrible secret that is held so close by two or three family members can go on to tear at the fiber of the family in generation after generation.
I taught my daughter early about her private parts. I also taught her if anyone ever touches them, she is to tell 3 people! Why 3? Because if she tells 3 different sources at least 1 person will take the claim seriously and not keep quiet. People tend to try and keep the secret which shames the victim like they did something wrong.
I am crazy overprotective and do not believe in leaving my daughter alone in the room with ANY MAN! No matter who he is: father, uncle, cousin or brother! Call me paranoid, I’m okay with that. I only have one chance to protect her! Just one!