Little Cherie had a hard time understanding why people couldn’t get her name right! The constantly correcting people gave her the tag line when introducing herself, “like the fruit,” which has stuck with her 45… More
I threw my scale in the trash 10 years ago. Having a scale in my bathroom was one of those extra accessories I no longer needed.
I had these 2 aunts that would walk into my Mom’s house and before they would say hello, they would say, “Wow, you must be eating good…” “Those cheeks are extra chubby, aren’t they?” Then they would giggle amongst themselves about how big my face, my boobs or whatever their subject of the moment was. (Their extreme cattiness got on my nerves and gave me anxiety.) Until I got grown and realized I wasn’t the problem, they were! They were extremely unhappy with themselves and constantly trying to improve themselves and would talk about everyone they came in contact with. Not my issue, it was their own.
Yes, like most women my weight fluctuates 10 pounds here or there depending on time of the month or how much ice cream I’ve eaten and there is NOTHING wrong with that!
One day I got on the scale looked down and then up and said, “Cherie what are you doing? Your jeans fit. Maybe tight, maybe a little loose, but they fit regardless!”
Yes, I was talking to myself in 3rd person. I’ve never been overweight. Maybe a little chubby, maybe a little too thin, but I remain healthy and that’s what matters most. Backhand compliments from others about my weight would never make me step on one of these things daily again.
Weight is NOT one size fits all! Weight is about health! Everyone is not supposed to be thin, buxom is beautiful.
The goal should never be a number, it should be your health. The number is different for everyone. I am a nutritionist. Trust my word more than the Hollywood tabloids, your gossiping aunties or any other superficial, unprofessional opinions.
Obsessing over the number on the scale is unhealthy.
Everyone loves to share nostalgia with their children, things that brought them happiness when they were growing up. It’s amazing how almost every 70s baby’s childhood is being wiped away one by one. Wow, we might all be a little dramatic when it comes to things that we love going away…like when I heard about them taking away the Twinkie. Twinkies are back! But I got anxiety about Twinkies for no reason.
Then, it was the closure of Toys R Us! It was the first place I took my daughter to pick out her own toys. Yes, we still have Target & Walmart but it’s just not the same as rewarding a child and taking them to the toy store. Buying toys online is not the same as a child walking down the aisle of a toy store and being drawn to a certain item by that exciting magic.
Oh Chuck E. Cheese, I will miss the smell, the sounds of laughter, the salad bar, the look on my daughter’s face when you came from out the back in your costume and the birthday parties with the singing puppets! The skee-ball machine and all the tickets. Oh, those tickets brought more smiles than candy! Getting to pick a toy to take home was everything. I still have our play cards and coins. I promised my baby we would use them when social distancing was over… I don’t have the heart to tell her yet! Ima just let this one play out and not make a big deal about it. The exciting thing is there will be something new. Hopefully, they won’t serve beer!
Bye bye, Chuck E Cheese…
There are a large number of men and women who seek drama to survive! I have been called uncaring, self-absorbed and indifferent because I’m unable to jump on the soap opera bandwagon of life. This is a tactic that drama kings and queens use to draw you into the mess, so you won’t remain standing on the side. They have to try and figure out a way to reel you in. That makes them feel better. You can’t argue with yourself. They need others’ energy to feed off of to make them feel valid. Validation, get it? It’s all about attention seeking. Every single human on this planet needs attention. Those who weren’t given enough or feel neglected emotionally, usually by a parent, there is a wire not connected correctly in the brain that causes them to seek attention even if it’s in a negative way.
Drama addicts find it very disturbing to see others not get caught up in the drama, while they are in full swing. So, the accusations start to fly. This is when it’s best to stay unbothered.
Drama is an escape from their reality. My reality is I have made a living controlling others’ emotions but without a paycheck involved, there’s no passion behind it for me. I’d rather have no involvement.
Breaking away from these types is usually not easy because they hold on. Even conjure up more drama and bring more people into the situation, just to drag the drama a little longer.
From experience, the best way to handle it is to completely cut them off and ignore them. Soon they will move on and continue the drama elsewhere. Don’t be shocked when they pop up from time to time just to see if they can get a reaction from you! (They always come back, it’s a part of their addictive personality).
Beware of red flags early
- Doesn’t take accountability
- Blinded by lust
- Want to be in a relationship so bad it doesn’t matter if it’s with the right person or not.
- Anger and aggression
- Emotionally unavailable
- Dismissive of your feelings
If you see any of these signs if I were you, I would run quickly. I’m the Queen of short sprints from drama! Talk about me if you want to, I’m too far away to CARE enough to want to hear it! You pay none of these bills…
I wish more people understood that the way we think controls our mind, body and spirit. That’s why it’s important that we don’t only nourish our body with great food, but we also nourish our minds with positive thoughts.
Ever heard an older country person get frustrated listening to nonsense conversation and say, “You aint gonna kill me!”
Well, my Grandma was the queen of that phrase! I didn’t understand it when I was young, but Grandma was spitting real game. Our emotions control our overall health. I get told often to ignore when people say ignorant or offensive things to me. Ignoring people, or biting my tongue is not a healthy way for ME personally to deal with it. If that works for you, well fine, but my mental health comes first. I am one of those people whose thoughts will manifest and drive me nuts and because “I aint letting nobody kill me”, as my Grandma use to say. I let those thoughts out quickly, no matter who it is that brought those emotions on.
There have been studies that correlate the following emotions to these conditions.
Chronic Back Pain
Mitral Valve Prolapse
High Blood Pressure
It’s important that we learn how to release these emotions before your body is forced to deal with them.
This week my energy has been totally off! I was not out protesting, but I was on the phone calling the White House, the police stations and the General Attorney’s Office. I am mentally and physically exhausted.
My inbox was full of slick remarks from people who claimed to be “Punky Fans,” but musta forgot I’m the Black friend, then wanted to play victim when I cussed their ass out! (I know I should just ignore them, you guys tell me all the time, but then it festers in me and makes me feel worse. Getting it out keeps me mentally healthy.)
My daughter felt the tension no matter how hard I tried to hide it! She decided she was going to take charge and change the narrative of my day! She was going to have me do some yoga, exercises, and then meditation!
I giggled as I realized children have so much common sense! She was reminding me how important self-care is. Even though she doesn’t understand everything that’s going on at 5 years old, she still understands at times we need to step back and take care of self because stress kills!
They say it’s a parents job to take care of children BUT these children really take care of us! It’s hard to hide the truth from children, but as parents it’s our duty to keep the energy healthy for them!
During Covid, I have been extremely serious about not ordering any food out. (Unfortunately, I don’t know the health status of those working at restaurants. I’d rather not take the chance). All meals have been cooked at home. Pizza is one of my daughter’s favorites and is a staple in my home monthly. Pizza night is a must (WE LOVE PIZZA) and it makes a great breakfast! So, the next best thing to delivery is sometimes you just have to make it yourself. For you homeschoolers, pizza is a great science and math lesson using measuring and they get to make dough rise!
Anytime the mixer comes out my daughter is there for it. It’s one of her favorite things in the house. Plus when children are involved with the preparation of their meals, not only are teaching life lessons for their future, but they take pride in their work and are more likely to eat well.
It takes about an hour and 30 mins total.
4 cups of Bread Flour
4 teaspoons sugar
1 envelope instant yeast
1 1/2 cup of water (110 degrees F)
2 tablespoons olive oil plus, 2 teaspoons
***During Covid I wasn’t able to get packaged yeast or bread flour so I used self-rising flour and it worked just as good***
1. Combine the bread flour, sugar, yeast and kosher salt in the bowl of a stand mixer and combine. While the mixer is running, add the water and 2 tablespoons of the oil and beat until the dough forms into a ball. If the dough is sticky, add additional flour, 1 tablespoon at a time, until the dough comes together in a solid ball. If the dough is too dry, add additional water, 1 tablespoon at a time. Scrape the dough onto a lightly floured surface and gently knead into a smooth, firm ball.
2. Grease a large bowl with the remaining 2 teaspoons olive oil, add the dough, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and put it in a warm area to let it double in size, about 1 hour. I use this as multitask time. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and divide it into 2 equal pieces. Cover each with a clean kitchen towel or plastic wrap and let them rest for 10 minutes. Then roll out. Add your favorite sauce and your favorite toppings. My daughter loves turkey pepperoni, and I like plain ol Cheese.
Using bread flour will give you a much crisper crust. If you can’t find bread flour, you can substitute it with all-purpose flour which will give you a chewier crust. It also freezes well if you want to make a couple of pies for later! I refuse to buy frozen pizzas…
If you had any doubt in your mind, you are beautiful! You are beautiful because of the DNA running through your veins. You are the makings of royalty true Kings and Queens. ALL life began with you. Your gift is your blackness!
Stand proud in it, your skin is a gift. All that see it, know it. You will age beautifully and stand the test of time. Your skin will take you on many journeys a lot of the world will never be able to fathom. In every situation hold your head high, you were chosen for this journey because the most high knew the average couldn’t handle it. He has made no mistakes and you are perfectly made.
Be unapologetically you, love you, the world doesn’t have to love you! They do have to respect you. Your voice is the most powerful, they will hear you. Your bloodline is full of fighters, so you stand up and stand proud. Even when you feel alone your forefathers are counting on you to make sure your existence is known.
Yes, we are being murdered, we are being objectified, but now is the time for us to finally become unified! Black and Brown need to stand together. Let’s not forget Mexico was our ally and gave us refuge. We need to come back together as one until the mighty fight is won!
BUT YOU DON’T HEAR ME! THEY THINK TACO TUESDAY IS THEIRS AND BUY MORE WATERMELON THAN YOU AND ME!
Emulation is the highest form of flattery! They love your culture; they love your music and your food but are too fragile to ever wear your skin. Their DNA is different than yours! We hold genetics connected to ALL, while they hold genetic connection to ONE!
This is why the oppressor has implemented an education system that plays on the self-esteem of our brown and black children as early as the tender age on 5. Please remember SLAVERY IS NOT OUR HISTORY! SLAVERY IS WHITE’S HISTORY! That is their doing, their legacy, not ours!
We were Kings, Queens, Doctors, Lawyers, Healers, Architects, Creators… Brothers and sisters continue in your legacy! Continue your greatness as if none of them have the power to affect you. Be positive, be a force, leave your mark, and make them RESPECT YOU! MOST important LOVE yourself and know you were born perfectly imperfect. BE naturally unapologetically you!
REMEMBER THE COMPANY YOU KEEP DEFINES YOU! THE 5 CLOSEST PEOPLE TO YOU IS WHO YOU BECOME. MY WHITE FRIENDS SPEAK OUT ABOUT THE WRONGDOING, THE POLICE BRUTALITY, THE BLATENT MURDERS, THE CHILDREN IN CAGES. THEY AREN’T AFRAID OR OFFENDED TO FIGHT FOR WHAT’S RIGHT.
REPRESENTATION MATTERS, I WILL ALWAYS REPRESENT.
My daughter said to me today, “I wish KIAN was open, Mommy.”
“Why baby, you want me to go to work?” I asked her.
“I need a spa day, Mommy!” she said to me.
I giggled, what in the world does a 5-year-old know about a spa day?! Well plenty… her Auntie and Mommy are the owners of one. She has become accustomed to walking into a swanky spa in Bel Harbor off Collins Avenue, and receiving a massage and facial while we are trying to work and keep her busy. I understand quarantine has come with some challenges and change to her schedule but most of all, it has changed the fact she isn’t able to spend time with many she cares about.
Even though Taekwondo is online, she can’t hug her teachers, see her friends, her Aunties, Uncles or the KIAN Staff. She misses them all so much. For a young child, missing people they love is hard.
Self-care makes everyone feel better, and it’s not just for adults, children appreciate it too. It was time for me to become her personal nail technician and massage therapist. First, I made her a bubble bath. When she got out, after I assisted her drying off, I laid her down and gave her a full body rub down. We finished the afternoon off with a pedicure, finger sandwiches and tea. LOL
One of her Christmas presents was an Orbeez foot spa I found at 5 And Below and her Taekwondo Master bought her a set of polishes and charms. No better time to pull them out and ask her, “What color do you want your nails?”
She loved it! After her treatments her attitude changed, and she enjoyed walking around the rest of her day with her unicorn robe on. Everyone deserves an off day, even children!
10 things you don’t know about me:
1. I have no patience and I hate waiting. Time is one of the only things I can’t get back in this world, like my virginity. So, when it’s wasted, I’m pissed.
2. I don’t like talking on the phone.
3. After 30, I became antisocial.
4. I can’t stand dirty ears.
5. After breaking down my guns and cleaning them, I can put them back together blind folded thanks 2 my brother Mark! (These were the games he taught me as a kid, smh, lol.) We grew up with guns and were taught to never disrespect their power but how to use them if needed or necessary. If u take care of them, they will take care of you.
6. In a room full of people I’d rather observe than talk.
7. I had my ex-boyfriend’s name tattoo’d on me as a young girl. LOL, it’s now covered. (Because of who it is, I don’t regret it. Just thankful I didn’t put any of the others’ damn names on me.)
8. I like me… so I don’t care if you don’t like me.
9. I don’t dress trendy. I wear what I like no matter what others feel about it.
10. I dream of producing TV shows and movies, even owning a Ferrari. I’m still playing “That’s my car” with my big brother, lol.
“Ouch Mommy, it hurts when I bite!” My daughter said.
“Let me see, baby?” I asked her.
I reached in her mouth and felt a wiggle.
“Oh my God, baby. Your tooth is loose!” I screamed with joy.
She jumped up from the dining room table “Mommy that means the tooth fairy is coming soon,” she yelled.
“Yes, she is. Wow, Scootcha your first tooth is going to come out soon!” I told her while hugging her.
May 13, 2020 during Covid Quarantine and I get a reminder that life still goes on. My baby is growing out right before my eyes. And the biggest blessing out of quarantine is I don’t have to miss not one minute of it. Time is flying by. I swear it seems like she was just born yesterday now she’s about to lose a tooth. I mean I knew this day was coming and I’m totally prepared for it. By morning, there will be a tooth fairy door installed in her wall. I probably bought the kit when she was like six months old just because I thought it was so cute.
I gave her a Pete the Cat book because in my house, Pete the Cat is a really big deal! So, it’s been sitting in the closet probably for about six months. I found this cute little tooth pillow that came with 3 markers to be colored at Target in one of the deal bins at the front of the store for three dollars! (I knew this stuff would come in handy, I just didn’t know how soon.)
She’s so excited, she wanted to call everybody and tell them. She couldn’t wait to call her Uncle Dallas and Aunt Chavon and ask them what it was gonna be like when her tooth fell out. She wanted to send a video to her Uncle Mark and her Aunt Vicki and Cousin Vivian so they could see her wiggle it!
Her excitement made me smile as I’m watching her move on to another chapter of becoming a big girl. But a part of me is crying inside because my little baby is growing up. I remember being excited over my teeth coming out, now I understand why my mama used to tell me, “Don’t grow up too fast though, you’re always gonna be my baby.”
Time goes by so fast don’t forget to enjoy your babies while you can… even on the hard days. They grow up way faster than you want them to. I’m going to miss those little teeth.