STOP FORCING CHILDREN TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE FAMILY MEMBERS!

All love shouldn’t be unconditional! Your mental health should be more important than anything else. When you teach children to have relationships with family members that are emotionally abusive, what are you teaching them is their feelings do not matter. They are to love that person, no matter how they were treated. Someone else’s opinions and words are more important than their feelings.

This is why so many adults find themselves in abusive relationships in adulthood. They spent their whole life being told they couldn’t stop loving the very people that hurt them, simply because they are family.

We always wonder how a woman can be abused and stay. 

Why does that mean because I’m his wife, even if he beats me, I should stay?

Adolescents who experienced emotional abuse as children are more likely to be diagnosed with at least one mental illness, such as depression or anxiety, which can carry over into adulthood. Unfortunately, people with a history of emotional abuse are also at an increased risk of attempting suicide.

As parents it is our job to Protect, Profess and Prove! Protection comes along with protection from toxic family members, providing them with an environment that is heathy and will aid them to grow up with healthy self-esteem. 

www.TheRealCherie.com

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORE A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET?

Today, I received the cutest gift from one of our friends who watches Punky! She made me the most adorable bracelets, not only for me, but also for my daughter. They’re colorful and they fit perfectly. They’re comfortable and they’re made with soft beads. She even put my name on them, and she put Cherie power! My daughter’s says Girl Power, one has a gummy bear and the other a heart and a rainbow! They came beautifully packaged. The most amazing thing is there were made by a young girl named Simone! 

Friendship Bracelets

I am all for entrepreneurship at an early age. These bracelets are a perfect addition for a birthday present, Christmas stocking or even Easter eggs. So, if you wanna support young people and also give beautiful gifts to the girls and the women that you love, please keep Simone in mind. 

I love the positivity reminder on my wrist and the way it makes me smile when I look down at them. Most of the time, it’s really the little things that can brighten your day. And these bracelets do it for me.

Check out her Instagram page

https://instagram.com/simoneviviennemar?igshid=ylqg4196kh8a

www.TherealCherie.com

WATER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR BODY!

Water is the true fountain of youth! Most overweight people are overweight simply because they are not drinking enough water! Most people with skin issues have it because they are not drinking enough water!

After having my daughter, my doctor asked me if I wanted to drop my baby weight fast. “Of course,” I told him! Then, he told me to drink 16 ounces of water on an empty stomach. It will help the body flush out toxins and alkalize my body. Layman’s terms: it’s gonna make you shit. According to Ayurvedic medicine, drinking water right after waking up has pretty amazing health advantages. It cleanses the kidneys and expels accumulated toxins, enhances the metabolism, improves the oxygen flow and supports the health of the lymphatic system.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night thirsty?

At night, your body repairs itself and removes toxins. This is why some people sweat more at night than others. Your body is casting away all the bad stuff. So, it’s your body’s way of begging you for proper hydration, so your cells can do their jobs. Most likely, you didn’t drink enough water during the day.

Did you know if you don’t drink enough water it can alter your mood as well? Dehydration causes confusion, anxiety and fatigue.

THE BLACK REALITY

Having a casual conversation about a family road trip hurt my heart. My man and I were talking about all the things we want to do after Covid and one of them was to go back to Disneyworld. Then, driving from Disneyworld to Atlanta, Georgia and we/he decided it was probably just safer to fly. Not because of car accidents because we didn’t want to deal with the trauma of the police.

Me: I’d rather leave early in the morning, babe. I don’t wanna be on the road late at night. It just makes me nervous to be on that back road with Rhythm in the car.

My Man: Yeah, I understand, and it makes it worse to have me in the car with you.

This is when my heart sank to my feet! The White reality is having a man with you is supposed to bring a sense of safety and more security to your family! For a Black family who simply wants to take vacation and go to Disneyworld, it’s a risk factor! Here is where my attitude kicked in.

Me: “Fuck Disneyworld and Fuck Georgia, we have been to both of them before. I don’t even wanna go.”

My Man: “Naw babe, don’t get like that. We can just fly to Georgia after, so it won’t be a problem.”

He’s so sweet and calm and such a peacemaker. Meanwhile, we can just go to Disneyland call it a day and save all the travel money all together. I’m now mad as hell and pissed off and hurt. Hurt for him because he can’t bring comfort to his family by being in the car. My White friends, please read this again! This right here is NOT okay! 

People wonder why Black women seem to have an attitude problem. We harbor so much hurt and disappointment, not just for ourselves, but the ones we love most. The men in our lives who simply want to live but are in constant fear. Our children who aren’t even aware of the dangers ahead every time they leave the house simply because of the color of their skin!  You would walk around looking pissed off too if the Black experience was your damn reality every time you left the house. 

www.therealCherie.com

LOOKING FOR A CUTE OUTFIT FAST

In the middle of doing a Virtual Press Run for our Punky Brewster continuation, I still have a life. I needed a cute outfit quickly where I didn’t have to change my clothes before my interviews today. Then, I remembered this really cute sweatsuit sent to me from Suddenly Forty! It was perfect!! I put it on, and it was comfortable and soft and appropriate for my whole entire day!

I hate rushing, so I always keep a couple of go to outfits right in front of my closet. Because I am one of those people, if I have to search for it, I don’t wear it. I like to grab and go! 

My day was looking like this:

10:50am Rhythm’s Dentist Appointment

11:30am Post Office (gotta mail Cucumbers are Delicious)

11:45am Gas Station

12:00pm Make Lunch

 2:00pm Phone interview

 3:00pm Cook Dinner

4pm-8pm Record Cherie’s World Podcast

8:30pm Rhythm’s Bedtime

45 is a weird age. I still look and feel young but let’s be real, some things are just no longer age appropriate. But I am not tryna look like a grandma either. Thank you Suddenly Forty for keeping it cute! You will get to check it out on the podcast!

You can check out more of their cuteness at www.suddenlyfortyllc.com

Suddenly Forty

APPLYING PRESSURE DOESN’T MAKE A MAN DO WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO!

I feel so bad watching women who apply pressure to men so they can “ACT” the way a woman wants them to. Acting doesn’t last long. This is a tactic that is truly unrealistic and doesn’t work. Hate to break it to you ladies but if he aint spending as much time with you as you would like, it’s because he doesn’t want to. So sure, you can throw the ultimatums in his face about what he better do and you can threaten to leave but it’s just a temporary fix.

Your best bet is to release the pressure, then you will see what he really desires. This is one of those hard truth times but in the end, it removes the stress from him and you. It also stops you from getting high blood pressure! Self-preservation girl…

If that man is happy at home, he will have no problems being there. If that man is running, the foundation of the relationship is broken and your threats aint gonna fix it. Here’s the real hard truth: it aint gonna be fixed unless HE wants it fixed. You cannot make another person “ACT” the way you want them to. The right one for you, once you voice the concerns to him, will not just apologize but correct the behavior as he sees fit.

Here is another hard truth. You have to stop looking for someone else to bring you happiness. Codependency for your emotional happiness is setting yourself up to be miserable. Nobody is responsible for your happiness but you!

I know a lot of you are screaming at me now about how I am not a man… I don’t know what I’m talking about. No, I’m not a man but I have a Dad, 8 brothers, a man and all male friends. I get to hear what you and your homegirls don’t hear. I have always been that 1 girl in the middle of 10 dudes. I’m invited to the strip clubs and the bachelor parties. While ya’ll having girl days, I’m with my homeboys listening to them talk about ya’ll.

TODAY I FORGIVE MYSELF!

I forgive myself for not knowing better until I knew better! Being happy is a very personal thing that really has nothing to do with anyone else. I was guilty of giving away my power and allowing miserable people to pull me into their funk. 

Energy transfers: I am guilty of being an empath.  I know this, so I should know better. So, I have learned how to protect my energy with my life. I now have no problem not answering the phone when I’m afraid my energy might shift to a place I don’t want to be. I have no problem explaining to people why I choose to love them from a distance. 

I forgive myself for all the times I gave people the discounted rate of my services and they now expect it forever. Basically, I forgive myself for not knowing my worth. I forgive myself for selling myself cheap when I knew I deserved more.

I forgive myself for lowering my standards and going on those dates I didn’t want to go on and wasting my time with people I knew I didn’t see in my future.

I always was frustrated hearing people say the Christian thing to do is forgive. I get it… I really needed to forgive myself because nobody coulda let me down without me allowing it. So, today I forgive myself! I learned my lessons and I will move on!

I hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself too…

MY CAREER IS ONLY BROUGHT UP IN ARGUMENTS WHEN…

My career is only brought up in arguments when…

They felt threatened by me.

They have jealousy issues.

They felt inferior.

They were never my real friend.

There’s something strange about trying to have a friendship of any sort as an entertainer. You never really know where you stand with people until they don’t receive the reaction from you that they want! Then, the cat’s out of the bag. Instead of attacking my character as a person, they attack the characters I played. (The f@$k)

All of a sudden Ima washed up child star or they ain’t my groupie. Ain’t my groupie, wtf? This is when I am able to laugh. I can’t even be upset anymore or carry out any sort of debate or arguments, it’s over. The greatest gift life has given me is turning off my emotions. Because at that point the argument is no longer about me as a person, it’s about the way they have felt about me from the beginning. 9 outa 10, if they weren’t a fan of my career, they wouldn’t have been my friend in the first place. 

One thing about me, is my career choice has never defined me as a person and it’s not my daily thought, but obviously it is for them. These are not insults, nor do they hurt my feelings. Attacking my career is like attacking my shoes. It’s just a tool I wear to get me where I want to be.

That stands for everyone. Your career is your paycheck and anyone bringing up your means of livelihood in an argument, the real issue ain’t you! It’s them. 

I can guarantee you they ain’t happy with their life path or the reflection they see in the mirror. In life people have two choices: they can either be your co-stars or your audience… GO Shine! 

www.therealCherie.com

A SAD DAY IN THE JOHNSON HOUSE WAS CURED BY AUNT MICHELLE!

I am sad that I have to announce Molly is no longer with us. Yes, my daughter’s fish after 4 years has been called home! She transitioned back to the earth and my daughter took it hard! I mean she screamed and cried! She had lost her best friend! She was too upset to bury her. She asked me could I do it for her. I told her, “Sure I will.” All I could do was hug her and let her know she was a good pet owner to Molly and reminded her that Molly lived a good life! She had 3 different bowls with major fishy bling, the fish literally took flights (plural) outa town! That made her giggle in between the tears.

She climbed back in her bed and turned on YouTube so she could watch other people play Roblox. (I don’t get it but that’s a whole different blog) For about 15 minutes, she has screamed and cried… then the doorbell rang! 

Her Aunt Michelle sent cookies all the way from Boston! Within 15 minutes, these giant cookies came to the door with 4 containers of ice Cream and chocolate milk! Lol, the tears stopped quickly! Hero Auntie saved the day and turned the channel.

While she still grieves over Molly being gone, it’s been a few days, but she no longer cries because she’s still working on these giant cookies! 

Aunt Michelle, thank you for always having your baby’s back. You taught me a huge lesson and listen; these cookies are amazing. Hahaahahaha! You are the best, thank you so much! 

R.I.P., Molly, you lived a great long life! 

Pray for me everyone. Now she’s asking me for a Teacup Yorkie or a Teacup Maltiepoo! I’m a sucker when it comes to this girl’s wants but I dunno if I’m ready to travel with a dog now… I told her we would talk about it again when she’s 7. I bought myself a few more months. (Whispering to you) I hope she forgets! Smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ 

HOW DO I STAY LOOKING SO YOUNG?

I get asked a lot about how do I stay looking so young? What products do I use on my skin? Youth is from the inside out! A lot of you don’t know I am a certified nutritionist. Good nutrition is an important part of leading a healthy lifestyle. Combined with physical activity, your diet can help you to reach and maintain a healthy weight, reduce your risk of chronic diseases (like heart disease and cancer), and promote your overall health.

Eating a balanced diet is vital for good health and wellbeing. Food provides our bodies with the energy, protein, essential fats, vitamins and minerals to live, grow and function properly. The goal is to keep it natural from the inside out.

Food or medicine

Only a small percentage of Americans (any groupings by age, sex or skin color) actually consume the recommended minimum of five daily servings of fruit and vegetables to maintain health. The National Cancer Institute now suggests nine servings of fresh plant foods per day to reduce health risks, a goal which is not likely to be achieved by a significant percentage of the population, let alone among minority groups in society.

Americans with low intake of folic acid (green leafy vegetables) have higher homocysteine levels. Homocysteine is an undesirable protein in the blood circulation, which is linked with cardiovascular disease and brain dementia. It is amazing when they estimate the impact of poor nutrition upon Blacks. It is encouraging to realize that nutritional strategies could be employed to eradicate or reduce common health risks in family of Americans at very little cost.

There is a connection to skin color, nutrition and disease, which is exemplified by role of vitamin D, the “sunshine vitamin,” among blacks. Dark melanin skin pigment slows the natural production of vitamin D in the skin upon exposure to the sun. Blacks may require as much as ten times more sun exposure to produce the same vitamin D as Caucasians. Shortages of vitamin D are causally linked to high blood pressure, stroke, cancer (colon, breast, prostate, ovarian, lymphoma), Crohn’s disease, immune problems and osteoporosis, health problems that are common in the black community.

There are claims that “A low intake of dairy food nutrients, such as calcium, potassium, and magnesium, may contribute to the high risk of hypertension seen in African Americans.” Milk is a very poor source of magnesium and potassium. Blacks notoriously exhibit intolerance to milk products. In one study abnormal lactose tolerance was found among 81% of Blacks and only 12% of Whites. This explains our avoidances of dairy.

It is obvious Blacks are genetically different (not inferior) and due to their melanin skin pigmentation exhibit special health and nutritional needs that are not being adequately addressed by the medical community nor the food industry.

Here at KIAN SPA, we understand nutrition is not one size fits all. We go the extra mile to make ensure our clients are receiving individualized consultations so they can meet their personal nutrition goals.

To reach out for a nutrition consultation you can book though 

www.TherealCherie.com

Or www.Kian4lifespa.com