FAST FOOD FOR MY KID IS A NO NO

Let’s touch on the topic of fast food. This used to be a treat, now for many it has become a way of life. How did we get so lazy that we would rather go through a drive thru than cook our kids a real meal? I have yet to patron a fast food restaurant that serves a side of broccoli with the kid’s meal. Children need to eat a well-balanced meal since they are growing. It is our job as parents to make sure we keep them as healthy as we can. Do you know food also works with the immune system? If your child gets a cold every time they go outside, maybe you need to change their diet.

When our kids eat refined sugars, such as cookies, sweets, white bread and pop, the food is broken down into glucose. Due to the lack of fiber in these food items, they enter the bloodstream in the form of sugar at a rush speed. Research shows that only 7% of children consume the recommended three to five servings of vegetables and two or more servings of fruit daily. Unfortunately, due to poor nutrition and inactivity, the rate of childhood illnesses such as allergies, obesity, attention-deficit disorder and ear infections are rising dramatically.

MY DAUGHTER DECIDED SHE DIDN’T WANT TO ACT BAD ANYMORE, SO SHE BAPTIZED HERSELF

You read it right. My 4-year-old baptized herself. It seems I don’t get PMS anymore but the week before I start my period, my daughter seems to really have a hard week. Well, after getting punished for talking back during math, saying the answer is, “Eiiiiggght,” real sassy and having a hard day in Taekwondo, we were both happy the day was coming to an end. We started our night time routine by getting her in the bath. At this point, I was quiet and so was she. We were both irritated with one another and ready to go to bed. While soaking, she looked up at me and said, “Mommy, I am ready to wash all my sins away,” very matter of fact. I said, “Oh, okay are you ready to wash up?” I got on my knees in front of the tub ready to assist her washing up. She then said, “NO, MOMMY.  I’ma baptize myself!”  I said, “Oh, okay.” Just like that, she grabbed her nose and dunked her head under water.  When she came up, she had both her hands straight up to the sky, like an old lady in a black church.  She screamed, “My Sins are washed away!” I was in shock and trying everything I could to hold back my laugh. She then looked at me and said, “Nope, I need to do it again.” Lol.  She held her nose and dunked her head, then came up on her knees with her hands once again pointing to the sky. Then she said, “It worked, my sins are gone and from now on Ima be an angel because God lives in me.”

I paused and giggled and said, “Yes, he does boo…yes, he does.”

Smh, just like that I was over it as she was. I giggled and washed her up. She wanted to hug snuggle to sleep so we did…that was days ago and so far, so good. She’s been my angel on earth. Hahahaa.

What it taught me is Baptism is a personal choice, if, when and where is totally up to your children, not you. Lol. I am NOT baptized myself. I’m saving that for the Nile River…but that’s a totally different story about my personal goals.

Not only is being baptized a choice but she has figured out misbehaving is also a choice. Hahahaha.  Aww, 4 years old. One day soon, I’m sure I will miss 4.

POWER OF MANIFESTATION

At the age of 14 if you walked in my room, you would find my walls covered with black and white print ads torn from the pages of a magazine! I wanted to paint my walls black, lol, my mom wasn’t having it so I created my own way! There were a lot of Guess ads with Anna Nicole Smith everywhere and Michael Jordan had a series of Nike ads in Black and White. I became obsessed with magazines. Essence, Black Enterprise, Vogue, Elle, Allure and Cosmopolitan were all subscribed to. Editorials became my favorite. I was holding on to the dream of going to college to major in Architecture and Minor in Journalism. Yes, I was on TV but that wasn’t my dream, it was just what I had fun doing.

I am telling you this story about myself to share with you the power of manifestation. I know, I know, here I go again. Truthfully, I was eating lunch with my brother, Dallas 3 years ago and he said, “Right now, if you could be doing anything you want for a living, what would it be?” I laughed and said, “I want to write for a living full time and be a homeschool mom.” Fast forward 2 years. I am homeschooling and in November 2018, I was promoted from my part time gig at Fever Magazine to a full-time job as Assistant Editor! I manifested that shit and it all started with a teenage passion! I am a creative person and very eccentric. I am kinda like Lynn from Girlfriends, in the sense that doing just 1 thing forever is not my journey or my goal! Acting only did not fulfill me, I needed more. It is an awesome foundation that has given me a platform to stand on to achieve other things. I am not saying I quit acting, I’m saying I am more than an actress. I love setting goals and get a total high off achieving them. I also get a huge high watching others achieve their own goals. That is why I am sharing this story to encourage you to manifest your own reality! Good luck, you got this!

A WALK CAN CHANGE MY WHOLE DAY

If I ever feel down or need to run away, a perfect quick fix for me is a walk. It can be around my neighborhood, through a park or even around the building at Kian Spa. I set aside at least 20 minutes and do nothing but walk.

Sometimes, I take my daughter when the weather is nice. It’s a great way to start our day. Morning walks for me and most of the time, she’s on her scooter or her bike. It’s a great time to bond.  She is only 4 years old but has a clear understanding of her desires and she will let you know if you’re willing to listen. I tend to leave the cell phone at home so our walks are uninterrupted and as peaceful as can be. Since we moved from Los Angeles, I get to take in clean air, appreciate the greenery and the homes around me, while smiling and waving to neighbors.

As I walk, I pay attention to my breathing, the smells, the things I hear and how the air feels on my face. I look around and it helps me realize how many things I am truly grateful for. It reminds me how lucky I am to even have air in my lungs, making my life possible.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our routine that we don’t take the time to simply look around us and be grateful! I never want to get so wrapped up that I forget as long as my family is safe, everyone woke up this morning and my daughter is fed that I am winning. My family is winning.

Gratitude is everything. Did you know it can also strengthen your immune system, better your sleep and focus?

SET YOUR CHILD UP TO SUCCEED

Set Your Child Up To Succeed 

Allow children to accept themselves by showing that you accept who they are, including their strengths and weaknesses. Explore the child’s interests and successes in academics, athletics, and artistic and musical abilities. Use their areas of strength to reinforce their successes, and refrain from comparing siblings to each other.

Empower Your Child 

Convey to children that they will not have to worry about losing the security of their parent’s acceptance, which will encourage them to pursue new tasks and opportunities for self-development. Provide opportunities and projects for them and encourage positive exploration of new subject areas and activities that are of interest to them.

Help Your Child Develop Good Social Skills 

Model and demonstrate basic social skills such as listening, taking turns when speaking, respect, accountability, and appropriate ways to make and maintain friendships. Provide the rationale and necessity for each skill and behavior and ensure understanding of each skill.

Use Language That Builds Self-Esteem 

Speak to children with phrases that build self-esteem, such as, “Thank you for helping” or “That was an excellent idea.” Avoid using negative phrases that decrease self-esteem such as, “How many times have I told you?” or “Why are you so stupid?”

Encourage Your Child To Be A Thinker 

Encourage children to be creative by exploring subject areas or ideas that are fun and interesting. Offer avenues for them to explore their interests, such as field trips to libraries, museums, or bookstores. Talk with your children and take part in their excitement about what they are reading, thinking, and doing.

Have Realistic Expectations and Goals For Your Child

When parents repeatedly expect more than a child can do, they are disappointed again and again, sending a message to the child to be disappointed in himself. Having realistic expectations provides children with a sense of control over themselves, their surroundings, and their future. Children’s development of self-control goes hand-in-hand with self-esteem, which increases as they achieve success when realistic and attainable goals are completed. When children successfully meet the challenges within their phase of self-identity, they become convinced of their self-worth and competence.

Teach Your Child To Delay Gratification 

Explain the importance and feeling of accomplishment when one works towards and completes a specific task or goal. Give recognition, a special privilege, or increased responsibility for a job well done.

Be A Role Model Yourself 

Let your children know that you feel good about yourself and that you can make mistakes and learn from them. Provide numerous opportunities to demonstrate basic judgment and moral values (respect, kindness, sharing), how to display appropriate behavior and interact with others, and how to constructively solve problems when they arise. Set a good example by demonstrating respect to others, to schools, and to yourself.

Show Them They Are Important 

Show your children what they do is important to you. Talk with them daily about their day’s activities, interests, and schoolwork. Attend their athletic events, parent’s day at school, musical concerts, and award ceremonies. Be available to support them and what activities they chose to do.

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TV ISN’T REAL

Photo Credit: YouTube

The best thing you can do is teach your child that TV and YouTube are for entertainment ONLY! If you do that, then you don’t have to worry about the MOMO challenge!

I showed the MOMO lady to my 4-year-old and she said, “That lady’s costume is ugly!” I told her the things the lady was telling children to do. Her words back to me were, “Mom, don’t worry. I wouldn’t kill myself, that’s stupid. I will tell you, no matter what anyone says.” I was truthful with her and told her the lady tells kids if they tell their parents, she will show up in their bedroom. My daughter laughed and said she’s not real…

Long story short, teach children fact from fiction and your worries won’t be so high. Growing up on TV I have learned firsthand.  It’s an important lesson a lot of the population does NOT TEACH! Grown adults have difficulties between TV and what’s real. Here is where common sense can be taught, people!

THE 3 BIGGEST INFLUENCES ON YOUR CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM

Family

The family is widely seen as an important influence on self-esteem because it is where the initial sense of oneself is formed. Children with self-esteem difficulties have absorbed what parents and others have negatively said about them. As they begin to define themselves in light of their low sense of self, they may undertake the view that they are different from their peers and siblings. Although at times children may not be aware that they are different, they know they feel awkward and inept when compared to others, particularly higher achieving siblings. The effects of low self-esteem can be reflected outward toward siblings and parents through verbal or physical expression. Their inner tension and shame can lead them to act out in various ways, ranging from emotional and physical withdrawal to aggressive and combative outward behaviors. 

School 

Children with low self-esteem appear hesitant and uncomfortable in the classroom. They tend to only answer direct questions and prefer to keep their opinions to themselves because they fear others’ reactions. Guarded behaviors and minimal interactions with other classmates lessen their social impact on others, which reinforces their belief of having nothing to offer others.

Community

Children or individuals with low self-esteem hesitate when interacting with groups of neighborhood kids or joining social activities, such as parties or games. They generally wait to be invited to play or join others, but then only participate minimally when they agree to play. Their guardedness and self-doubt hold them back from fully interacting with others, again reinforcing their negative self-image.

I WANT TO BE KHLOE’S REAL FRIEND. SHE NEEDS ONE.

I watched Jordyn’s Red Table interview with Jada. It was heartfelt.  She learned some grown up lessons about watching your surroundings and about how easily life can change from one choice. As far as the Kardashians and the victim role, while Khloe is my favorite, what I’ve learned about life is Karma is real, okay. Once your Karma is equal, it’s what you do with it that matters.

I get it, the Kardashians are a household name, and many look up to them. Their hustle game is OUTSTANDING and I applaud it. But let’s look at Karma facts.

How soon these people forget. Let me remind you:

Kim and Chyna were good friends before Kylie got with Chyna’s man. Kim hooked up with Kanye while he was still with Amber.  Khloe did Trina dirty by hooking up with French and some basketball player, I can’t remember his name, but Trina was with him at the time.  Khloe got with Tristan while his gf was 7 months pregnant. Let’s not forget Liza Morales, the woman who spent 10 years with Lamar Odom, Khloe’s first husband, who she married within 4 weeks of knowing him.

It’s no coincidence she always gets the shit end of the stick. In life, sometimes we get what we give. It’s not over for you, Khloe. Now that your Karma is equal, what are you gonna do with it? If I was her real friend, this is what I would ask her. Then, I would hug her and encourage her to keep it moving. Jordyn didn’t ruin your family, love. The way a relationship starts is often how they end. It’s okay you have a beautiful daughter, so everything happens for a reason.

WHEN I GOT THE FEVER FOR THE STAGE

My earliest memory of being infatuated with performing is when my mom took me to see The Wiz with Stephanie Mills. I don’t even remember blinking ‘cause I didn’t want to miss anything. I was smitten. The singing was incredible, and I was mesmerized as they danced up and down the aisles. I wanted to get up and dance with them. My mom had to remind me several times to sit down. I remember telling my mom I could do that, referring to performing. Seeing The Wiz was the best gift she ever gave me. After that, something was sparked inside of me.

My mom bought me one of those record players that sat inside a little white suitcase with a plug that hung out the back. I owned three eight-inch records that I played back-to- back: Annie, The Wiz, and Sister Sledge. Nobody could tell me I wasn’t Annie. At that time, we lived on the second floor of an apartment building and I used to stand on top of my toy chest in the window (that was my stage) and sing to the people downstairs. Sometimes they would ignore me and carry on; other times they would stop and watch. I would get excited when I had a crowd and I would sing louder. I was and still am extremely shy, so it’s odd that I enjoyed performing in front of crowds. I didn’t like talking to people or being looked at, but I had no problem performing for them.

STOCKING UP ON HEALTHY FOODS

Kids, especially younger ones, will eat mostly what’s available at home. That’s why it’s important to control the supply lines – the foods that you serve for meals and have on hand for snacks. Follow these basic guidelines:

  • Work fruits and vegetables into the daily routine, aiming for the goal of 5 servings a day.
  • Make it easy for your child to choose healthy snacks by keeping fruits and vegetables on hand and ready to eat. Other good snacks include yogurt, peanut butter and celery, or whole-grain crackers and cheese.
  • Serve lean meats and other good sources of protein, such as eggs and nuts.
  • Choose whole-grain breads and cereals so your child gets more fiber. (No Wonder Bread and Cocoa Pebbles.)
  • Limit fat intake by avoiding deep-fried foods and choosing healthier cooking methods such as broiling, grilling, roasting, and steaming (bake chicken and pork chops).
  • Limit fast food and other low-nutrient snacks, such as chips and candy. But don’t completely ban favorite snacks from your home. Instead, make them “once-in-a-while” foods, so your child doesn’t feel deprived. Limit sugary drinks, such as soda, Kool-Aid, Tang and other fruit-flavored drinks. Serve water and milk instead.